I had always been known as the curly-haired woman. Now people know me as the bald-headed woman.”

It’s a positive outlook, a brave way of dealing with the inevitable hair loss that follows chemotherapy. Angeline Malik has always been brave.

In the past, her peers described her as brave while referring to the drama projects that she would take on. Angeline’s trajectory as an actor, producer and director is testament to her willingness to walk the path less trodden, to tackle off-the-wall subjects and experimental roles, even while knowing that they may not appeal to the country’s largely traditional audience. Her acquaintances may also have alluded to her passion for speaking out for victims of harassment and supporting women’s rights, pushing forward the hashtag #InkaarKaro.

Some months ago, though, Angeline’s bravery was put to a new test: she found out that she was suffering from cancer, and would need to undergo heavy chemotherapy. Life, hurtling at a breakneck speed till then, ricocheting from one drama set to another, from morning till the late hours of the night, suddenly came to a halt.

“It was God’s way of telling me to slow down, to give myself some time,” Angeline says. “My line of work can be very hectic. And sometimes we can get lost in life, actually thinking that we are immortal and taking our health for granted. That’s how I had been.”

POWER OF THE MIND

And as her hair fell, a side effect of chemotherapy, Angeline — always noticed for her distinctive thick curly mane — decided that she would rather go bald. “The shock of losing your hair is initially very bad, and I didn’t want to keep experiencing it,” she says. “Once I went bald, I gave away all the hair products and hair brushes that I had. My new obsession is now scarves. If anyone goes on a trip and asks me what to bring back for me, I tell them scarves!”

She says this pragmatically, as if we are discussing completely ordinary circumstances, rather than her battle against cancer. I mention this and she responds, “The thing is, I am not treating myself like a patient. I am walking around, getting work done. I have returned to my love for jewellery design because I finally have time to focus on that.”

She continues, “I’ve never been inclined towards depression. Throughout life’s ups and downs, I have meditated and tuned myself to deal with different circumstances.” She adds, “But I did initially feel depressed when I was diagnosed with cancer. Everyone around me told me about the harsh effects of chemotherapy, and I got very scared. I imagined it to be something close to hell. It all took a toll on me physically and, for some time, I was just lying in bed.

“But then, I decided that I was going to be okay and got up and went about my routine. I immediately started looking better too. The mind is very powerful. I believe in prayer and in belief. If I believe that I am beautiful, I will look beautiful. If I believe that I will survive, then I will.”

As an actor, producer, director and rights activist, Angeline Malik has always taken courageous decisions, often choosing paths less trodden rather than easier ones or those with more traditional appeal. But the biggest test of her bravery may be how she has decided to deal with her recent cancer diagnosis…

It’s a positive message to give out and Angeline, as she navigates this new turn to her life, has chosen to advocate strength and positivity. “I don’t really feel like talking about my health and all that I am experiencing but I know that it’s important, so that others also don’t lose hope. I have seen so many cancer patients fall into depression. I see women losing their confidence when they lose their hair, searching for wigs and hiding their heads so that no one finds out. Yes, it’s a big deal, but it’s okay.”

RAISING AWARENESS

Ever the inspirer, Angeline has immediately seized on the opportunity to use her challenges as a teaching moment.

“It would make me very happy if, through [learning about] my experiences, people start taking better care of themselves,” she says. “We are what we eat and cancer is prevalent because our diets are very unhealthy. We eat food with chemicals added to them and we drink water that is stored in plastic bottles that are years old.

“When I got cancer, I realised that there was no support system for cancer patients, no exercise regime that they could follow in order to heal both physically and mentally. There are no facilities for pre- and post-care available, no retreat where patients could meet maybe once a week, discuss their journeys and meet survivors who would give them hope.”

We talk so frequently about the harsh effects of chemotherapy, but no one talks about survivors. No one talks about how it is okay to feel confident even after shaving your hair. It’s why I walked the ramp at the recently held Winter Fashion Gala [WFG], to show people that it’s okay not to be okay!”

Angeline continues: “We talk so frequently about the harsh effects of chemotherapy, but no one talks about survivors. No one talks about how it is okay to feel confident even after shaving your hair. It’s why I walked the ramp at the recently held Winter Fashion Gala [WFG], to show people that it’s okay not to be okay!

“It was a challenge. It was going to be the first time in Pakistan that a bald-headed woman, undergoing chemotherapy, would be walking on to the catwalk. But I want to emphasise that beauty can be beyond hair. We often hide behind our hair but there is so much more to it.”

RETURN TO PASSION

Her appearance on the WFG catwalk for designer Parishae Adnan × The Trio Salon, also showcased her jewellery brand, Angelines. While creating jewellery had been a passion for her for some time, having now taken a backseat from the set-life, she has been working on it more extensively.

She laughs dryly as she recounts: “About a year ago, I shot a jewellery campaign that featured a number of artists, including Hajra Yamin, Aijazz Aslam, Naveen Waqar, Ayesha Toor and Zhalay Sarhadi. I wanted to include one additional model in the campaign: a bald-headed woman who may be going through chemo. A few months later, when my cancer was diagnosed, it turned out that I became that woman.”

A single shot of her, styled and photographed by Wajid Khan, has since gone viral on the internet: Angeline stares out at the camera expressively, a headpiece curled up on her head, chunky, elaborate earrings on her ears and rings on her fingers. Evocative and memorable, it is no ordinary jewellery shot — and her jewellery isn’t ordinary either.

Her jewellery line certainly can’t be categorised as merely pretty accessories. She agrees with this observation, saying, “I describe my jewellery as wearable art. I am a Fine Arts student and I often sculpt and paint. My way of expression has always been through art and, this time, I chose to tell stories through these jewellery pieces.

“They can’t be carried off by everyone and because I put so much thought into every design, I am a bit selfish about who I sell them to. I want to get to know the customer, maybe customise a piece for her, tell her about the special benefits of the stones that I have incorporated into the piece.”

‘RICH IN LIFE’

From a purely artisanal point of view, one can understand her insistence on getting to know every customer. However, in these days of fast fashion, when designs tend to get replicated in hundreds and profits get hauled in through online sales, is her approach a viable one?

“But I have never done anything for money,” Angeline tells Icon. “There have been times when I have worked in TV projects and put in extra work without charging for it. There have been times when I have charged nothing as an actor. It means that I may not be rich in dollars but I remain rich otherwise. With my jewellery, I get pleasure when someone comes in and sees a piece, touches it, appreciates it. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Does she think that her love for creating jewellery has given her purpose and distracted her from the mental stress that is an inevitable consequence of cancer?

“Definitely,” she agrees, “but that’s how I have always been. I like to keep myself busy. During the coronavirus pandemic, I launched a small-scale food business. I made Goan food and got it delivered. It did pretty well actually!

“Now, I am focused on healing myself. I am taking care of my diet and I am also intent on feeding my brain the right food, thinking positive thoughts and enjoying what I do.”

FINDING STRENGTH

Prior to falling ill, Angeline had mostly lived solo. Has she had family helping her out now? She says, “My sisters have come to stay with me, and right now, my niece is living with me. I also have a very strong network of girlfriends who are always there for me and give me strength.”

My mind goes back to an incident, about a year ago, when Angeline had been in a car accident and an angry mob had almost set upon her. She had patiently dealt with them and, later, her friends from the industry had rallied to her side, posting messages of support on social media. The goodwill that Angeline has in the industry, collated over a career that spans 25 years, was very evident. Does she miss not being on a TV drama set as she gets better?

“No, it’s a very stressful job,” she says. “We may get into this field because we have a passion for it but, ultimately, there is much more tension. From dealing with actors who are perpetual latecomers to trying to create a story that makes a mark despite having limited budgets, there is a lot that we have to deal with. Maybe once I get better, I might work on a project that interests me.”

Is this particular phase of her life, combatting cancer and working on getting better, the most difficult that she has encountered? She laughs at this. “No. I’ve faced tougher challenges. This is between me and God. Humans have given me much more pain.

“But I am not one to sit and dwell upon why this happened to me. It is God’s will that this has happened and so there must be a reason for it. And I’ll get through it.”

It’s a brave declaration. An inspirational one. People who know Angeline Malik will tell you that that is how she’s always been.

Published in Dawn, ICON, February 23rd, 2025