We are living in a world of diverse opinions and instant reactions, where things often spiral out of control in a matter of seconds. To avoid conflict and maintain peaceful interactions, all we need is patience, self-control and tolerance. Stay calm, listen and respond with wisdom.

Interactions in the world today are not limited to physical interactions only, they have expanded to social interactions that are more online than face-to-face. These interactions have crossed boundaries, with no limits based on caste or creed.

We connect with people from all over the world through social media apps, broadening our personal relationships more than ever. We encounter individuals from diverse backgrounds, with different mindsets, beliefs and ways of living shaped by their cultures and countries.

No doubt, we learn a great deal from people from all walks of life. But sometimes, things don’t turn out the way we want as we come across opposing opinions. Chances are this is where things go out of control and oftentimes, unwanted irrational fights and arguments occur, leading to good relationships turning hostile.

As the younger generation, what do you think you should be doing? Should you keep on trying to win the argument or fight over their thoughts on something? My answer would be to remain patient and tolerant, even if their opinion opposes mine, because this is what my religious and family teachings tell me to do.

‘Tolerance’ is a simple yet so profound word that details the values in today’s fast-changing world. And being tolerant is the ability to respect and accept others, even when their beliefs, behaviours or opinions differ from ours. It does not mean agreeing with everything others say or do; instead, it means understanding different perspectives, controlling our emotions when we strictly dislike something and, if necessary, responding with patience or let’s say wisdom rather than anger.

Many arguments and fights, both personal and around the world, arise from this lack of ‘tolerance’. It happens when people refuse to understand or respect one another; resulting in misunderstandings and bad feelings for each other.

Every religion teaches people to be tolerant of each other. Because only this way, peace remains intact and people obtain the wisdom of understanding and reflecting. In this blessed month, when all the teachings tell us to be more patient and empathetic to each other, we must understand and respect others’ opinions so that life becomes easier and peaceful and our relationships stronger.

Tolerance also means to recognise that the world is made up of diverse cultures, religions and ideologies, and that everyone has a right to their own views.

The 10-second rule

It is not always simple to keep our cool, sometimes discussions suddenly turn into argument and resentment. To practice tolerance, the biggest challenge is controlling emotional reactions. When someone says something offensive or irritating, our first instinct is often to respond immediately. I hope all my young friends know that reacting impulsively can lead to anger and hurt which result in fights but regret afterward.

Recently, I read that applying the 10-second rule technique in conversations can help improve tolerance and prevent arguments and fights.

Here is how you can do: We have often read and heard the phrase ‘think before you speak,’ which implies that we should always pause before saying anything. This brief moment allows our mind to process whether reacting with anger or frustration is truly necessary.

So when you hear something offensive or frustrating, do not respond immediately! Instead, pause for 10 seconds and take a deep breath. As a youngster, handling pressure can be a daunting task, often completely opposite to your impulses. You must start practicing now to build a balanced and understanding personality for the future, one that is loved by everyone for its wisdom and tolerance.

What to do when triggered

Let’s suppose if your friend or classmate, or anyone else has said something which has totally ruined your mood, attacked your appearance, laughed on or passed a comment on you. What they said could be false or could be true, but it is something that you didn’t like or you oppose.

Reflect on that person, for a moment and the situation, is it really necessary to answer those who have no understanding or have the realisation of what they are even saying. Just ask yourself, “Is this worth your energy? Will responding negatively help the situation?”

Keep in mind that sometimes people just want to be heard. Let them express their thoughts without arguing back. You don’t need to agree and there is no winning and losing in arguments as we are all different from each other, with different opinions and ways of looking at things.

Moreover, sometimes, engaging in debates or arguments only makes a situation worse. Some differences cannot be resolved through discussion, no matter how much we try. In such cases, a powerful approach to tolerance is applying the 10 second rule or silent understanding; this way, your emotional impulse will subside, and you will have a sense of calmness in your conversation.

This small pause can make a huge difference in how we handle conflicts. It gives us a moment to override emotional reactions with rational thought and prevents us from saying things we might regret. And to the other person, it would be a jolt, something they wouldn’t have expected and can react badly to it.

In case of online arguments, just leave the discussion and stay quiet. If there are no words from you, there won’t be anything to continue debating on. Practicing this from an early age makes you more tolerant and understanding and wiser in your decisions.

When you succeed in keeping your cool

Don’t show negative reactions like rolling your eyes or sighing in frustration when you have succeeded in keeping your cool. Being surrounded by diverse people will only broaden your understanding of the world beyond yours. All you need is patience, self-control and an open mind.

A tolerant person experiences less stress, stronger relationships and peace. Notice if there is anyone in your circle whom you always look up to for their balanced and tolerant nature. Observe how they keep their cool, how they turn the temperature down in a heated situation and follow their example in your own dealings. And that is the person you can go to in case you want some advice.

By being tolerant, accepting of diverse personalities and opinions, and not reacting strongly instantly are going to make your interactions more pleasant and relationships stronger. Be wise and tolerant one!

Published in Dawn, Young World, March 22nd, 2025