“It kills you,” snaps a 54-year-old Chartered Accountant who is, at the moment, relishing the peak of his career, as MD of a thriving leasing firm. “Just the thought of retirement at this point in my life, has me spiralling into an abyss of depression,” he says candidly.

“I have seen my father being asked to retire after giving 34 years of his life as a journalist in a newspaper, and even though he tried to set up a new business after that, it was the pre-mature retirement which gnawed away inside him and finally two years after, he passed away.”

It's true, for most people, especially men, whose lives revolve around their careers, that retirement is one of life's greatest trials. In many cases retirement comes and bites even before you know it, while in other instances your body begins to wear off easily and gives you signs that you now might not be able to do all that you once did so effortlessly.

“When a man retires, he loses not just his job; he loses his self-worth, his position in his home and sometimes his sanity,” says 65-year-old Habib. “I feel like a useless thing around the house,” he laments with a bitter laugh. “My wife is fed up of me interfering in the daily chores and finding faults in everything around the house.” Habib is one of those few who was politely asked to retire from his position as General Manager two months ago from a sales firm because they felt he was unable 'to cope' with the demands of the job. “I know I should move on, I should find other things that can occupy my time...,” he finishes with a sigh. “I'll get around to it.”

A 58-year-old female regional manager for an all-women's multi-national sales organisation shares that the thought of retirement is simply 'spooky'. “Ever since my kids were old enough, I've been involved in some career or the other. I taught for 15 years and then moved on to work in the company where presently I head the Karachi branch. Even though, in an organisation like mine, there is no prescribed policy for retirement, the thought of my health not allowing me to work is one that is tough to accept. I hope I never have to deal with it.”

“I guess planning one's retirement and saving up for it is very essential,” says Soomro, a retired teacher who has been teaching for 45 years and is, at the moment, jobless. “Even though I have two sons who are Chartered Accountants, and there is no looming 'need' to bring in the bread, I feel I still want to continue to get out of the house and have a sense of purpose in life. My friends have been clever enough to save for this stage in their lives. I guess, I never thought a teacher would need to retire. I had vowed to work till my death,” he finishes with a grimace.

Mr Ebrahim, who has accepted his change in lifestyle due to his self-retirement from the small business he used to run, spends most of his time in prayers and fretting about his family. “It's all I can do, with all this time on my hands. I try to take advantage of this time by going to the mosque for my five time prayers, and making stuff for my grand children to please them with when they visit over the weekend.”

Then, how 'does' one deal with retirement? 'Is' there a constructive way to perceive retirement? Apparently, there are many who have vowed to take the bull by the horns and deal with retirement positively. “My aunt and uncle, who live in the States and have worked all their lives, are looking forward to their retirement,” shares 30-year-old Asiyah. “They have been meticulously saving up for a world cruise, which they plan to take up as soon as they both retire next year,” she says with a grin. “I'm sure they'll take a while to adjust to their new, relaxed life style, but they have even planned to indulge themselves in social work opportunities that are plenty in that part of the world.”

“It just goes to show that one should not get too pre-occupied with one's career,” says Saleem, a banker. “Many people socialise with the very people they work with. They are obsessed about reaching the top of their field and enhancing their PR, paying little heed to their families. Eventually when they retire, an entire way of life is lost. They don't know what to do with themselves. However, if one has a set of hobbies or a variety of social groups that one moves around in, like clubs or a penchant for fishing or hiking maybe, then retirement simply gives you an excuse to devote time to all those hobbies that you've delighted in.”

Jumana, a student of psychology feels that with retirement comes a loss of self-actualisation. “According to Maslow there is a pyramid of needs that a human strives towards Physiological needs and psychological needs. When one retires it's as if you've lost the opportunity to go after those goals of self actualisation. Or in some cases you have had a taste of your own potential and then that has been taken away from you.”

It feels great to be at a high point in your career; to shout out orders; to feel you are invincible; to realise that you are king of your little hovel. When one retires, the support and patience of one's family and especially one's life partner plays a pivotal role. 50-year-old Farida says that she has helped pull her husband out of acute depression after his sudden retirement. “He simply didn't want to do anything after he left his job. It all happened so fast. Even though it was his own decision to opt for retirement, the reality of it began to sink in later.”

“He ceased to be the forceful, voluble man he once was! It was immensely painful and we even went to doctors for treatment but, it was eventually faith which helped him cope. Today, he occupies himself with volunteering at a clinic for the under-privileged and that has given a semblance of purpose to his life.” But even today she sees him hold a wistful look in his eyes and yearn for an era that was.