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We have pathetically little to laugh at, under the thumb as we are of a national mindset which largely sees enjoyment as some sort of major sin — the baleful influence of the enemies of laughter, our gentlemen of the cloth, having spread their net rather wide. Even more sadly, in these dismal days we have little that can give us pride.
What we do attract from the outside world are jibes and digs at our outmoded quaint ways, too numerous to list in full, most of which are adequately upheld by the governments that have either manipulated their way in or been voted in by a populace held in thrall by feudal cum tribal practices that date back to the year dot.
In this present democratic government, just for one instance, we have a minister who does not wish to disturb in any manner the age-old tradition of 'honour' killing, and another who has a firm belief in the jirga system when it comes to the law.
We have a head of state who doubles as the head of his own political party, keeping the chair warm for a university student when he comes of age, a man who wears his two hats as happily as did his predecessor, the scorned military dictator.
The government is with us in name only, and the few deliveries it has made in the name of the people have neither been clear-cut nor free from contention. The cabinet is of such a size that for sure our rather wooden prime minister, handpicked by his party boss, will be unable to put a name to most of the faces.
One supposes that some humour can be found in all this, though of a highly bitter type, as the damage done to the nation outweighs all else. Since all flows from the head down when it comes to governance and politics, who can possibly be surprised at the state of the great game of cricket as played by the national team? From the cartoonist point of view it is a perfect gift, with immense possibilities.
On Jan 19, national hero and cricketer Shahid Afridi, then Downunder playing for Pakistan in the series against Australia, complained that India had “made fun of” Pakistan by shutting out Pakistani cricketers from the Indian Premier League franchises' auction. On Jan 31, Afridi, captain of the ODI squad which lost to their hosts, took his turn to make fun of his country and how it plays the game.
Amazingly, in full view of all present and of the millions of cricket fans tuned in on their TV sets, he bit into the ball as if it were an apple — the 'bizarre biting incident' as it has been termed, good enough for a bunch of international sniggers.
Cricket again. Three days later, the National Assembly standing committee on sports met to discuss Pakistan Cricket Board affairs covering its financial state which mirrors that of the national financial state, plus the Indian snub, and the doings of the team Downunder.
The PCB chairman is obviously a man whose mind is at rest, as was then his body. According to a report in the press on Feb 4 “Ijaz Butt twice took a nap during a marathon meeting ... even as he came under fire from various quarters”. According to the Sindh sports minister, “Butt slept during the meeting, even when he was being addressed by Jamshaid Dasti, the committee chairman ... which was quite strange as it was quite an explosive session....” Well done, Chairman Butt, sleep in peace!
When it comes to accountability in this republic, all are metaphorically or actually asleep. Democracy may be the best revenge in the case of this present PPP-Z government and all that it controls, but not when it comes to one of the major factors that upholds democracy, a system of accountability for all deeds done and actions taken.
And where stands the loyal opposition? The chief of the only other party of any weight, Mian Nawaz Sharif also fights shy of accountability, but he also fights shy of other matters of which we know not and is now indulging in flights of fancy.
Last week, justifying his opting out of standing for election to the National Assembly, he reportedly told his men and women that he “wishes to save President Asif Ali Zardari from the tremendous pressure his presence in parliament would bring upon him, leading to the collapse of the government ... which has no guts, fortitude or resilience to withstand the force of his attack. Ultimately, a state of paralysis would hit the government....” He has obviously not noticed the state in which the government now actually finds itself.
A book has just been published of a selection of the columns written by Minoo Bhandara, who died in 2008. An MNA during the 1990s and the owner of the Murree Brewery in Rawalpindi, his last column for the press was written soon after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto.
He records “BB was second-term PM. I came under attack from her husband, who wanted to take over my company. The company was sealed abruptly without notice ... An SSP of the FIA by name Inam Sehri (since said to be absconding) was appointed to bait me day and night ... I tried to approach the PM through one of her secretaries; she reportedly scolded him for interfering in her husband's affairs....”
May Bhandara's soul rest in peace, and may our president rule 'his country' wisely!
