One small mindless act set me thinking. Is life a veneer? Are people chipboards? As I wipe a pesky spot off my computer table, whoa! Bits of the ‘table’ come off, leaving behind a brownish patch. Stick-on butterflies, the type little girls use on their stationery, make the table look more girlie stupid. A week later, I junk the whole ‘thing’ (bought at a sale, therefore quite cheap!) because its unsightly remedies become unbearable.

Bottom line: things with artificial coverings can be discarded; can humans with artificial veneers be consigned to nothingness? Especially when remedies to remake them fail? Purged of impurities that pollute our lives in shape of a three piece men’s suit or a shalwar/kameez (depending on which part of the world these homo-pollutants dwell), the 7 billion bulk living on Earth may well breathe a cleaner, fresher and wholesome air.

Alas, these ‘chipboards’ even after we rip off their veneer feed on us like parasites. They continue to pillage until they die. Let me hasten to add: not all chipboards are bad. Some of them are solid and have proven their worth. What differentiates ordinary ‘chipboards’ from the genius variety? Is it the difference in IQ? Is it the power to transcend the prosaic moving beyond to a realm very few inhabit? I am thinking of men and women recognized by history as one of the greats who changed the world with their inventions. The 20-something who invented Facebook, Google, YouTube and Twitter are today’s game changers. By hooking the world to social media and networking, these young men gave billions a room of their own in cyberspace.

What about politicians and military men of yesterday and today? Which pigeonhole would you reserve for them? What are these people thinking when they are in power or when out of it? They won’t tell us. Instead, they like to speak to us through their books.

In America, the latest book to lay out the truth in the eyes of the beholder is Vice President Dick Cheney’s. Living on borrowed time without a pulse, were he not hooked to a little handheld heart pump that he carries around, he’d not live. Cheney is a mere shadow of his old chubby self. He is on a road show telling America how his (controversial) policies kept them safe from Islamic terrorists.

His book, In My Time, is an unapologetic read on the many faults and lies of his boss Bush and the many missteps of his colleagues Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice. Cheney blames the duo for misleading President Bush. General Powell has dismissed the criticism as Cheney scoring “cheap shots” while Rice has declared she will answer his allegations contained in her own book scheduled for launch next month.

Is Cheney really the “Darth Vader,” “Dr. Strangelove,” “torturer- in- chief,” “Rasputin” and “the mad bomber” according to his critics? Let’s wait for Condi’s book before accusing Cheney. What were Bush, Cheney, Powell and Condi thinking when dropping ‘Daisy Cutter’ bombs over Afghanistan and Iraq ten years back? That we’ll never know!

Now to the recently-retired General Petraeus, waiting to become the new CIA chief. Obama told the general last June “I am asking you, as your president and commander in chief, to take command in Afghanistan,” Petraeus’s reply was: “In response to that, there can be only one answer: Yes sir.”

What was Petraeus thinking on the day he retired and was honoured at a farewell tribute attended by thousands at the army headquarters in Arlington recently? He must wonder why Obama and his top team were missing from the ceremony. The highest ranking fellow from the Obama administration was a deputy defence secretary. Was this a big snub?

To rub salt on his wounds, there was a mindless comment from the ‘has been’ Admiral Mike Mullen who said “You now stand among the giants not just in our time but of all time, joining the likes of Grant and Pershing and Marshall and Eisenhower as one of the great battle captains of American history.” Many thought the comparisons “preposterous.”

But Mullen tends to go over the top, as happened with his praise for General Kayani. Once upon a time, Mullen described Kayani as one of the greatest generals he had known. He was proud of his friendship and enjoyed many cups of tea whenever he visited Kayani in Rawalpindi. But the ‘love’ changed to accusations when Kayani held his own and refused to follow the American line on war against ‘terror.

I would give a penny for their thoughts, as the saying goes, when I look at the picture of our top military men surrounding President Zardari who along with young Asifa, dressed the way her late mother did are seen cutting the cake on Defence of Pakistan Day. What were these generals thinking? What was President Zardari thinking? We will never know!

Remember the charmer French president, Jacques Chirac? Well, he’s chipboard whose veneer is off because he’s no longer in power. He’s in court taking the stand to defend himself against embezzlement charges when he was mayor of Paris. This is the first time a former president of modern France is being forced to defend himself in court.

Another ‘chipboard’ made of cheap veneer is the Prime Minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi. Despite owning a media empire, Berlusconi prefers to remove his veneer over the phone as opposed to writing a book, unlike other world leaders. “I don’t care… I’m getting out of this country... which nauseates me,” Berlusconi was heard saying over a phone conversation that was being recorded. It was later leaked to the press. The PM was referring to the allegations of a businessman who had procured women of ill repute to attend the premier’s soirees and was now blackmailing him.

Next time you go out to buy furniture that looks like teak, oak or cherry, don’t fall for it. Chances are it is covered in fancy veneer. Next time you think someone to be super great, don’t fall for him. Chances are he/she’s hiding behind a veneer and once denuded, can prove to be a shocker.

anjumniaz@rocketmail.com