In the midst of an impassioned mob at the New York Yankees ticker tape parade, I came across an unexpected sight. A few feet from me, with an equally obtrusive view of Broadway, stood a tall Caucasian man holding an Urdu newspaper, the words 'Pakistan Times' in a bold Arabic script across the masthead. Every time a float cascaded down the street on its way towards City Hall, the thousands that had shown up - including what seemed to be New York’s entire Hispanic population - raised cameras in unison and a series of blinding flashes would ensue. Between the bright flashes, I couldn't help but wonder how this white man got hold of an Urdu paper.

'Sameer Iqbal, but everyone calls me Sam,' he told me after I walked up and introduced myself and asked him who he was. Before I could ask about the paper, Sam began jumping up and down in delirium, almost manhandling me while screaming, 'Did you see that? Wasn’t that Derek Jeter? Oh my God! It was!'

Not well versed in baseball, I tried to fake excitement since my main motivation for attending was a fascination with ticker tape parades. As soon as the parade ended and the crowd began to disperse, I tried to engage Sam in a cricket vs. baseball debate. As I suspected, my newly acquired friend was a hybrid, with one Pakistani and one foreign parent. Sam's mother is Irish-American.

His father had become Americanised and the only glimmer of a Pakistani identity that Sam seemed to have was his father’s insistence on reading Urdu newspapers that Sam habitually bought him (ergo, the Pakistan Times), and a penchant for spicy Indian food (which I discovered upon his insisting that we make the trip from Wall street to Jackson Heights just to sample some fine desi cuisine). As we ate, Sam confessed he could barely speak or read the Urdu language. He had been given no religious instruction from either of his parents: 'Naturally, I grew up atheist,' he explained. The openness and honesty with which Sam shared his story is something I have encountered in many hybrids. But his father's decision to erase all remnants of his Pakistani identity and past life from his son's life was something I was encountering for the first time.

Of the many hybrids I have come across, two have distinguished themselves the most:

At first glance, Amina Stella looks like a Pakistani girl with European features, which is exactly who she is (though she insists most of the people she encounters have different takes on what she looks like). One of four siblings, her father is a Pakistani who traces his roots to Kashmir, whereas her mother is from Italy. Substantial portions of both sides of Amina's extended family have settled in Canada. Her mother’s side of the family has settled in the predominantly Italian area of Woodbridge, while her father’s side can be found in the South Asian haven of Mississauga.

Since her mother converted to Islam and spent time in Pakistan, Amina was raised a Muslim with traditional values. However, her grasp of Urdu remains minimal, something she feels prevents her from being truly comfortable in her Pakistani skin. While she enjoys the cultural aspects of Pakistan - the bangles, the food, the colourful clothes, henna tattoos, et al - she also admires the kinship and familial values of the community. Still, Amina feels she is a partial fit on both sides of her family. That’s something that can be both comforting and disconcerting. Ultimately, since her father is particular about ingraining Pakistani and, more significantly, religious values, she retains a sense of what can best be described as detached attachment to her father's homeland.

Asal Asghar Khan differs from both Sam and Amina in that she has actually lived in Pakistan, which is very much a part of her being. Her mother is Iranian, and through her exposure to the richness of Persian culture, Asal's attachment to Iran is also extremely strong. When she was growing up, Asal's parents compromised between their Shia and Sunni backgrounds, and she feels the richer for her joint upbringing. Her association with Pakistan is deeper and covers the political, cultural, and educational arenas. This may be due to a profound knowledge of Urdu.

As western societies look to exalt multiculturalism, more and more Pakistanis abroad are likely to find themselves in mixed marriages, thus producing a generation of hybrids. Whether these hybrids retain a sense of attachment to Pakistan is almost entirely dependent on how their parents approach their upbringing. With differences in heritage, beliefs, values, and norms, it is interesting to explore how such couples decide to raise their children and what impact these decisions have on the kids themselves. The abovementioned examples in themselves stress the diversity of the hybrid community, so it would be a folly to ascribe generalisations to their personalities and value systems.

One thing that struck me as I interviewed these people was that differentiating between a Pakistani identity and a Muslim one was an arduous task for Pakistani parents in mixed marriages in the diaspora. Those abroad tend to emphasise more on the religious aspects - as in Amina’s case - or they totally disassociate themselves, as in Sam’s case. Whether the children end up rebelling against their religious beliefs or not, an element of Pakistan is cultivated within them through religion. Indeed, it seems as if Pakistani and Muslim identities are converging as religious festivals such as Eid take on an increasingly nationalistic vibe in the diaspora. Makes you wonder just how significant a role religion plays in the Pakistani identity as a whole?

Surely, language also plays a prominent role in our identities. So what is a Pakistani parent to do in order to instill a sense of propriety towards Pakistan in their children? This debate extends to Pakistani couples raising their children abroad, despite the obvious advantage of Urdu being spoken in such homes.

As for Pakistani hybrids, the real question is whether they will ever truly feel as if they belong in Pakistan, and whether Pakistanis are willing to accept them without thinking of them in terms of the other.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.