Happy house hunting in Karachi

Usually finding a room or an apartment in a metropolitan city is not difficult, but finding one as a single woman in Karachi, seemed nearly impossible. So I assumed the best way to get anything is through a trusty network. I mentioned my interest in finding a residence to a credible acquaintance at a small get-together which resulted in someone eavesdropping in on our conversation.

After an introduction, the eavesdropper mentioned a room available in a house somewhere in DHA. Curious, I asked some of the basic questions about security, the facilities, and who my potential roommate was? The answers seemed safe and normal to me, so we agreed to speak during the week.

However, although not a big deal for me, many of the eavesdropper’s answers could be considered taboo or just plain wrong in Pakistani circles.

For clarification; my roommate was a guy. We would share one floor of a home, and we were both extremely busy people. Although to many this may not sound ideal – it was perfect for me, he would mind his own business and I would mind my own business.

I went with my god-sent local Karachite guide, Dr. Adeel Faizi; my older brother’s best friend who was specifically told to make sure I did not get into trouble while I was here.

After canceling on each other a couple of times; I along with Dr. Faizi, finally met up with the eavesdropper at my possible future residence. There were two furnished bedrooms available with attached bathrooms, and a shared dining area, kitchen, and a huge lawn space, the biggest bonus was that it was in a safe area.

Initially the bathroom did not suit me - if I was going to live anywhere on my own, I should have a nice bathroom at least. Immediately I knew this was not the place for me, but there was no need to mention my feelings out loud just yet.

I asked if I could get to meet my potential roommate and he said ‘they’ were waiting at a restaurant to meet with me. I looked at Dr. Faizi, and he gave me the ‘its okay lets go meet them’ nod.

As we followed the eavesdropper to a restaurant in Zamzama, I felt like Alice about to jump into a deep, deep hole, and Dr. Faizi couldn’t help but laugh at me.

We arrived and went to the upper section of the restaurant, where two men and one young woman were seated. The younger man in a baseball cap was all muscle – he looked like something out of a wrestling match. The older man, adorning salt and pepper hair, looked wasted from a week’s worth of partying, and the young lady had ‘worry’ written all over her face.

We said our initial salutations and the questions started; to be more exact my interrogation started.

They asked for my verbal CV and I did my best. I explained to them my job required odd timings as well as possible travel periods. But the main concern was convenience: if they could help it, no water issues, electricity issues, problems with staying up or when I come in, and most importantly I needed an environment conducive to writing.

And then the rest of the conversation went something like this:

Older man: You from New York, yeah (wink), must be fun, huh?

Me: (Nervous smile)

Older man: I have a brother in New York, he is a doctor. In the Village…West. He has three properties, he rented one out to Jello.

Me: Jello, wow, good for him.

Dr. Faizi: So what is the price for the room?

Baseball cap dude: You know man, I am in the import/export business, never around… blah, blah, blah…sometimes I don’t even come home, since everything is included, it’s 40,000 rupees per month. (in an odd mix of British and US accent)

Dr. Faizi and I exchanged glances.

Dr. Faizi: I see…

Young lady: So are you a citizen? (Looking at me)

Me: What? Oh right, I do not have Pakistani citizenship. I was born and raised in the US.

Young Lady: (laughs a little) No, whenever someone asks if you’re citizen in Pakistan it usually means of US. (Laughs again)

Me: Right… of course, what was I thinking; I will remember that for the next time.

Dr. Faizi: Yeah, didn’t you know that (in an extremely sarcastic tone)

Everyone laughs, and I do not know why.

Young lady: Will you have friends coming over from the US?

Me: I am suppose to have some friends coming over, I think there are eight of us all together, but we are suppose to go to Taiwan.

Young Lady: HELL NO, will they stay with you?

Me: Umm…I don’t think I can accommodate eight women in one room – it might be a little difficult.

Older man: Are they Chinese?

Me: No, they are mostly blonde (confused), Why?

Older man: EVEN BETTER!!! (Laughs really loud as the whole table joins him, excluding me)

Me: (really nervous smile)

Older Man: Please stay, join us for dinner (wink).

Dr. Faizi gives me the look and I knew it was time for the exit strategy.

Me: Well, it was a pleasure meeting you all. I will let you how I feel about the place through your friend.

Dr. Faizi and I said our good-byes and walked out.

On the way to the car I asked Dr. Faizi who Jello was and he laughed and explained that he meant J-Lo, the singer.

And I replied: But of course.

Sadef A. Kully is a Reporter/Associate Producer for Dawn.com.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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Comments (31) Closed

ail baba

Mar 29, 2010 02:59pm

I live in Toronto and as a student I was looking for a room in a house.....and trust me....this is nothing...I met the weirdest people ever.....this was nothing...as for the guy telling you about his brothers apartment being rented to J-lo and everything...hey maybe he was trying to impress you. You are in Pakistan...a country where an unmarried couple on a date in a car can be asked for "nikkah naama" and get in trouble for it.

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S.A.Khan

Mar 30, 2010 10:14am

Pakistan men are ferociously jealous about their women. They are either daughters, sisters or married. As such single women do not have identity of their own. This is compounded by religious conservativeness that prevails in the society. It requires change in social mindset. The society should accept there will be single women in the country. There needs will have to be catered. To start with in major cities decent single apartment should be built for women only. It could be lucrative business with high demand for accommodation. YWCA* has it all over the world. YWCA Yong women christian Association*

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G.A.

Mar 29, 2010 03:10pm

This is precisely why I am cautious when dealing with Pakistanis. They are often unprofessional and get personal in business dealings. In the West, asking questions about one's salary, finances or religion is considered rude but some people just can't seem to give it up.

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Ali

Mar 29, 2010 03:38pm

And the point of this piece is..??

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amused

Mar 29, 2010 03:46pm

props to you for even considering this!

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Rizvi

Mar 29, 2010 05:05pm

An interesting piece of writing. Sharing any kind of living space with someone local can prove to be a daunting task, and more so in Pakistan, given the social & cultural differences. There can be many sources of friction ranging from differences in schedule and lifestyles to things as trivial as dressing-sense and eating/drinking habits. I can very well relate to your experience as I know someone (living here temporarily - but hopefully long enough) who went through the exact episode. She is still struggling to find a suitable place for her needs - privacy, convenience and security. I think the best combination of these three prerequisites is possible if one looks for a small apartment to live alone in Clifton and/or DHA, rather than sharing a room or a portion of a house.

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Amna Kausar

Mar 29, 2010 06:57pm

ahahah! Jello! Article was Well-written and interpreted.

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Maria

Mar 29, 2010 07:07pm

I don't for a moment doubt that conversations like this go on between local Pakistanis and expatriate Pakistanis. However, let's not delude ourselves! Pakistanis in the United States can be just as boastful and boorish in behaviour. Despite being in the US, their behaviour seldom changes, especially among their own kind. The older folks can never really change and the imprint of the parents is seared into the kids. I too am born and bred in the United States and anyone who knows about the Pakistani diaspora can attest to my claims about the behaviour of Pakistani Americans.. As for those of us who are born and bred in the US, we are aware of the attitude of Pakistanis in Pakistan as well as what the mainstream Western people think. A lot of us have dual identification cards. We are used to living in two worlds and we know what to say and what not to say given the situation. Intrusive questioning and gossiping goes on here in the US among Pakistanis more because parents know what everyone has access to and the anonymity of societal freedom! That's why I don't quite buy your astonishment at the loutish behaviour of some Karachiites or the intrusive questioning of a dirty old man. When the old man asks whether your friends are Chinese, why would you answer that they are mostly blonde. It sounds to me that you are trying to provoke a certain response. If an Auntie here in California were to ask me where I'm going and with whom, I wouldn't answer with some red head or some brunette! I think you are trying to portray yourself a great deal more naive than you really are. The world isn't that small a place any more. Yes a lot of our local Pakistanis behave poorly but how can you explain Pakistanis settled abroad who still behave poorly when they have been exposed to the world.

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Bindu Rama Rao

Mar 29, 2010 07:22pm

It does appear that women are not expected to live alone, or even stay temporarily alone. God forbid if they want to buy a house and settle down alone. Things might be more difficult thanks to the resurgence of conservative notions and lifestyles in Pakistan in the last 10 years. Women may not be allowed by men to support themselves or even attempt to support themselves in such conservative societies.

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Faisal Kapadia

Mar 29, 2010 08:47pm

Im surprised you took more than 5 mins to walk out of that conversation, well kudos at-least you had someone with you when you went in lol

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tag_writer

Mar 30, 2010 03:40am

An article of no use.

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Choc Heaven

Mar 30, 2010 05:10am

Interesting article...loved the comment on citzenship. Extremely true!

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Fahad Khan

Mar 30, 2010 06:07am

I have lived most of my adult life in Western countries and shared the house or apartment with "DESI" & "GORAS". But I personally feel there is not much of a difference between Pakistan & Western world as I have came across with similar questions from my landlord while looking for a place for rent. Pakistan society is mostly blamed for nothing :-(

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Rizwan

Mar 30, 2010 07:18am

well I guess we need an endorsement from our Supreme court in the favour of "living in" similar to that of an Indian court in order to remove major hurdles that one faces finding a place specially when one is single.

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Mar 30, 2010 07:10am

Perhaps they arrived at the wrong idea since you seem to insist on the usage of the term 'roommate'. 'Flatmate' might have been more appropriate.

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Tanzeel

Mar 30, 2010 07:21am

Sadaf in Pakistan we often come across with cartoons like these, I hope you would have found a nice apartment by now which you should have mentioned here including the different people you met during deal.

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Mahmood Ahmed

Mar 30, 2010 11:31am

Useless article, maybe trying to create some humor out of nothing. One should try to learn the culture and attitudes of the natives, especially when one is single and woman and trying to find a room with no objections living with a male room mate.

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Azar

Mar 30, 2010 04:51pm

Roommate means a person sharing an apartment. It doesn't necessarily mean sharing a room.

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rehan

Mar 31, 2010 04:54am

Assalamoalaikum !! I would only suggest that if the writer has such a big problem with Pakistan and the way things work here, she can just pack-up and leave for good ! That's it! Allah Hafiz

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Murtaza

Mar 31, 2010 07:08am

Hi Sadef, Not exactly sure what the point was, but I enjoyed reading it none the less. I've lived abroad and been on the housing hunt, and the truth is that you do come across more than a few caricatures. Perverts will be perverts, odd balls will be odd balls and decent people will be decent people. I do remember a female friend of mine who lived in an all girls apt (In New York) where one of her room mates was 'dating' several celebs. Only later did she find out that she was in fact a prostitute. I can imagine that it's pretty difficult to find suitable living arrangements in Karachi and best of luck in your search. Definitely rely on your local contacts to guide you, it's not common at all for single men and women to live together and don't advertise your passport unless your fishing for wedding proposals...oh and get used to the winks and 'that must have been fun' insinuations. Guys and girls who have lived abroad both get it.

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sara

Mar 31, 2010 03:43pm

To all who did not get the concept of this article...The article is meant for Paki Stereotypes. I can very well relate to the conversation since my kids too have to undergo the same desi surveliance like I do every time we visit the desi land. I loved the Jello part and seriously thought that the dude's bro had rented to the place to Jello Company and not J-Lo....:))) One thing I've noticed is that why is it sooooooo important for everyone living there (especially in DHA) to let people know that how well their social network is. Knowing someone affulent is a big asset for them or does it make them look affulent? I am surprised that the DUDE did not propose you. Thank God that you did not rent the place belonging to the PERVERT..I guesss we Pakistanis are still not ready to accept single women as professional and independant.

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sara

Mar 31, 2010 03:45pm

I am sure you've never lived abroad and did not get the concept of this article.

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sara

Mar 31, 2010 03:50pm

What do you mean keh single women have no identity of their own....wake up this is the modern age where both Men and Women work together (not only in the US but also in Pakistan) in order to achieve a better life style.

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B.A

Mar 31, 2010 05:35pm

These are the questions that are asked by most people (even in Western counties) so it is nothing new and not something that needs to be brought in front of Public or get published... This article appears nothing but pointing fingers at Pakistani people, their way of renting out the place and asking questions... If you can bear the smell of pork being cooked by your neighbour in western country then there is no need to be picky about these bits and peices. Enjoy...

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vankirk

Mar 31, 2010 11:41pm

There are poor people all over the developing world who dream of a chance to go abroad to "mint money". It's not their fault that they are tactless and poorly educated about how to speak to a stranger from abroad. Pakistanis abroad understand how Pakistanis in Pakistan behave because many of the Pakistanis in the West are just as bad! I've had many uneducated people in Pakistan ask me how much money I make in the West but it also happens in North America among settled Pakistanis! Some people don't have common sense or good manners. As for people in Pakistan, they also don't know how many Pakistanis abroad struggle in low paying labour jobs or those in Europe who live on social assistance. The problem also is that every overseas Pakistani who visits Pakistan likes to pretend he is a multi millionaire businessman to fool people! They crave attention too! The reality is that many Pakistanis abroad do typical immigrant jobs that Westerners don't want like a cab drivers, convenience store owners, factory workers, security guards, gas station attendants.

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Jamal

Apr 01, 2010 02:41am

So what were you expecting? And why?

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Adil

Apr 01, 2010 02:34pm

Sara, Have you lived abroad? As if by living abroad you get enlightened and now you can see and understand things that others can

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Omer

Apr 02, 2010 07:08am

I don't think that there's anything odd in all what you have written. The point is, the older guy would be inclined to be flirty given the fact that a young lady is looking for a room and is willing to share the same with a guy. I would assume that this kind of search would in all likelihood entail the same response even in the US (although the reactions in US males would be a bit subtle and more local). I thought your willingness to check out the possibility is on the same footing as the older guys attitude. It may very well be that they were just fun loving people and were only trying to be friendly. What kind of guy were you expecting when you ventured out to share a room with him? A guy who would give you 'space' and 'respect'? That to my mind is a husband. If you think that these guys were politically/socially incorrect because they should have known how to behave to an American Pakistani woman (as she thought in her mind was the best way to do so), I think you are absolutely wrong. I think you were socially and politically incorrect in trying to venture out and explore the possibility of sharing an apartment with a guy in Pakistan. Needless to say that, except probably in California and New York, such effort would most probably entail the same reaction.

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sara

Apr 07, 2010 08:02pm

I am sick of this word gori chamri why cant we all come up with a new line. I gess people whom never got a chance to live around the gori chamris will never understand what I am trying to say.

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Nadia Talha

Apr 17, 2010 06:00am

Everyone has a freedom of expression, so whether this article was useless or useful is irrespective. A writer shared something on this blog & readers may like it or may not like it -- choice is ours...

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Fahad

Apr 21, 2010 11:14am

Well ... at least you have someone from your side, I searched for my own house and it took me 8 tough months just to find a nice and cosy place to live my whole life (may be). All sorts of people and specially estate agent will kill you and drag their way in some some where, which one never knows. All this seems pretty normal as the family lives in DHA (so called posh area), where you find plenty of no-water, no load-shedding (as they have their own power generation system pre-installed) and yes rent which they ask in millions because of the name.

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