That’s right, my name is Khan and I am a terrorist, but I wasn’t always one. In fact I wasn’t even that religious before, though born in a so-called Muslim family. According to my current understanding I was actually a “Kafir” although I preferred to call myself an atheist or agnostic at best. So what happened? How did a liberated soul like mine get warped into becoming a Muslim firstly and then a terrorist willing to unleash my wrath on the enemies of Islam? Let me explain…

I was young when 9/11 happened and like any other normal person I was shocked beyond belief at what had occurred. However what was more shocking was the fact that a certain group of Muslims was being held responsible for the atrocious crime. I wondered what could trigger Muslims to commit such an evil act all the while calling it Jihad in the name of God. From then onwards I saw the media unleash its wrath upon the Muslims along with which the world was introduced to the “War on Terror” phenomenon. In what followed I saw the US forces invade Iraq, ensue foolish military endeavors in Afghanistan, I heard about Guantanomo Bay, the killing of innocent people being termed as “collateral damage”, drone strikes in Pakistan and most recently the Wikileaks controversy. I also noticed that Muslims were being ridiculed all around the world and their faith was being attacked on international airwaves and their religion being portrayed as inherently evil. All this made me realise I was Muslim. It also made me feel important as I knew the whole world was against me. Soon it became quite clear that I was a victim of a world wide propaganda devilishly plotted by the evil Jews and pursued with full fervor by the neo-con Christians of the United States.

I began to practice Islam with much sincerity. I would pray five times a day, read the Holy Book, I even gave up the Western dress and adopted the Gallabiya and of course let my beard grow! I was particularly concerned regarding the political and social struggles of the Ummah and puzzled how this glorious religion, with its glorious past had become a source of shame for its followers. Of course I knew the cause, anyone with even one eye knows that we are the victims of the evil designs of the West, but I was looking for an answer. I was dying to know what I could do to reclaim the honor of my religion. I didn’t think it was justified to just “stick to your prayers and be a good person” when my faith, my honor and my people were being attacked all around the world.

In search for answers I started going to the mosques to attend lectures putting all my hopes in our learned scholars. I was sure they would be able to outline a course of action for a young, energetic, religiously committed and zealous youth like myself. But boy was I disappointed! Everywhere I went it seemed like the scholars were living inside a cocoon and had absolutely no idea of what was going on in the world around them. No one spoke of the injustices of the West and how the media was playing a major role in brainwashing the people against Islam. At first I thought they were just stupid but then I realised they were nothing more than cowards and sell outs. Not finding any solace in the ramblings of the mainstream Mullah I made a transition into the online world. It is here that I found my answers, my leaders, my heroes, my army, my ideals and my ideology. I discovered there are thousands that share my world view and are ever ready to do something about the plight of the Ummah. I joined a number of online communities and chat forums with my brothers. It was a real awakening. All this time I had been looking for the right people in the wrong direction. In these forums everyone knew exactly what was going on. We knew fully well that local acts of terrorism are false flag operations, the pathetic state of the economy in Muslim lands is also because of the West and its evil designs and everything else going wrong anywhere in the Muslim lands is a propaganda devilishly planned by, you guessed it; the West. (And when I say West I mean A-merica to Z)

I was finally at ease as now I was aware of the ideology that would eventually help the Ummah to reclaim the honor of their faith and home in on the real enemies. I knew that my band of brothers was the victim of an evil design and this made the difficult path that lay ahead of me, very, very easy.

I was introduced to the real scholars of Islam, those that dared to speak out against the West and its injustices. I was also introduced to verses from the Holy Quran and a variety of different Ahadith that only a few selected people could interpret correctly and luckily I was fortunate enough to be associated with them. Suddenly everything was crystal clear. These great scholars not only justified the “militant ideology” (as termed by the shameless media) but made me feel as though these texts had been revealed particularly to address this particular selected group of selfless believers who would then rise up against the enemies of Islam and rid the world of their evil. Thus we found the explicit Islamic solutions to the problems of the Ummah by correctly interpreting the religious texts. (And the shameless media has the nerve to say the religion is outdated!).

The former intellectually challenged US President, George W. Bush, eloquently phrased a sentence that got Pakistan to hop on to the “War on Terror” wagon. Those words were “You’re either with us or against us” and this is exactly what we, those whom you call “the terrorists”, believe. (Back at ya Bush!) To sum it all up; I was young and the way events were unfolding around me got me really confused. I was concerned and had a will to change the world for a better place. Naturally I looked towards the mainstream scholars to provide me explicit solutions in the light of Islam regarding the current political and social struggles of the Ummah. Their failure to do so made me look elsewhere and that is where I found what you would call, “the radical camp”. They inundated me with real Islamic knowledge and solutions with the help of religious texts and thus provided me with a ticket to Jannah. Inspired by heroes that stood up against oppression in the history of Islam, (and believe you me, there are many such heroes) I too decided that if I was going to die then it would be fighting against the enemies of Islam. I am ready to give up my life for the cause and if a few hundred innocent people loose their lives in the process, so be it, call it collateral damage!

Rishadullah Shaikh is the New-Media Manager at Dawn.com

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.