If Manahil Hameed had perused the terms of her nikahnama, she might have learnt of the many freedoms and constitutional protections she was about to sign away. Ten years and two children later, she discovered she had no custody, alimony, and property rights: she hadn’t checked the right boxes.

“Articles 19, 20, 21, 22 on the nikahnama manifest in the woman’s favour,” argues Syeda Fariha Anjum, panel advocate (High Court) of the Pakistan Women Lawyers’ Association (PAWLA), “provided she checks them at the time of marriage”. A woman’s right to divorce and to dissolve the marriage unilaterally is then ensured in the marriage contract.

Manahil hadn’t done that.

When she first consulted with lawyers, Manahil was told that one of the first things she needed to do was to get hold of a divorce certificate. This lengthy process entailed sorting out custody of their children, maintenance money, and rights to assets and property bought under her name. Had her husband and she mutually decided to separate, obtaining the divorce certificate would have been simpler.

But life was never simple for Manahil.

In truth, she had been mustering the courage to separate from her husband for a long time. Living with her in-laws for the best part of a decade, she had become fed up with the mental torture and stream of demands, both material and psychological. The in-laws seemingly believed that a woman’s parents will bow before every demand made by the in-laws, in an attempt to save their daughter’s marriage.

The situation had gone out of control to such an extent that every time they had a fight, Manahil’s husband, Hameed Khan, only wondered why her parents had a problem fulfilling their demands — after all, they could afford to do it.

Their last demand was the final nail in the coffin for Manahil. Her in-laws demanded that she should ask her parents to buy a house for them in her name, and that they should have it furnished to the in-laws’ taste.

Manahil decided to walk out of the marriage with her two children, aged 12 and seven.

But since she hadn’t checked the right boxes in the nikahnama, Manahil had to file for khula — untying the knot — in a family court to claim a ‘judicial divorce’. In legal terms, this translated into a woman being granted permission “in the Family Court under the West Pakistan Family Courts Ordinance on the grounds that she feels she can no longer live with her husband within the limits prescribed by Allah and such a statement on oath made in her suit would be sufficient to establish her case for khula”.

When khula is filed, it is usually expected of the wife to return the haq mehr and other monetary benefits that she received from the husband — zar-i-khula. In case they are not returned, the husband can file a “suit for the recovery of zar-i-khula”.

In the custody of child(ren), it is ‘the best interest of the wards’ that forms the basis of the decision, mostly inspired by the Hanafi school of thought. The mother’s right to child’s care and custody outweighs that of the father’s. In case of a girl, the mother can retain the custody of the child until puberty, and the son’s till age seven.

“The father can claim the custody of the child after the girl has reached puberty or the son is seven years old,” says Anjum. “If he doesn’t, then he is bound to pay for the maintenance until she gets married or turns 18 or even gets a job in some cases.”

Alimony for the divorced wife and the child(ren) largely depends on the financial position of the husband. The court gauges the husband’s financial strength, brings into consideration the assets and property — whether in the wife’s name or not, and then decides on behalf of the husband as to how much will be paid to the divorced wife and children in lieu of maintenance.

“In case of khula, the wife receives maintenance (naan-nafqa) for the child and herself till the iddat period. If divorce has taken place, then maintenance is given to the wife in addition to the returning of the dowry and haq mehr. All this depends on what has been settled in favour of the wife by the court,” Anjum explains.

But khula isn’t the only way out.

Lawyer Rehana had made the mistake of not seeing her nikahnama before the Nikah, catching merely a glimpse “and that too only out of habit” before signing on the dotted line. Although she could have opted for khula, she did not want to go through the time and expense of the process.

Instead, Rehana let things take their natural course: mutual agreement on divorce.

If the husband and wife mutually agree to divorce (talaq-i-tafweez and mubarat), then the parties may sign a mutual divorce deed and send a written notice to their respective union council, Barrister Ali Sheikh explains in his handout titled Law of divorce and khula in Pakistan. This ruling is allowed under Section VIII of the Muslim Family Law Ordinance.

For Rehana, spending time on litigation was useless since she was deprived by her nikahnama. “At the Nikah, I saw that the section in which the husband can give the wife the right of divorce had a line drawn through it. I did not say anything as I saw it at the last minute. My husband’s family had arranged for the preparation of the nikahnama and I did not want to create any friction.”

Her silence returned to haunt her. Without Rehana’s right to divorce, her ex-husband dragged the process over a year.

Now wiser for the experience, she tells women to ensure that their mehr is set to a hefty sum “Mehr was set at Rs10,500 by my mother-in-law — an amount that neither my parents nor I contested. I wish my parents wouldn’t have considered it beneath themselves to talk about money matters,” Rehana says.

When all else depends on paperwork, Rehana believes women should not let pride stop them from asking for a decent mehr amount — this money can provide a divorced woman with some security. “I feel extremely disrespected that my mehr was so little.”