“I want to work; do something,” she said to me, frustration etched on her face. “I have so much time on my hands, its excruciating,” my aunt confided. She had just married her eldest daughter off and her two sons were in college. In her 40s, active by nature, dynamic and social, my aunt felt she had nothing to do, now that her kids were grown up.

A mother’s life is a non-stop drill. From sending her kids to school, running after them for their homework, staying up for gruelling tests, monitoring their extracurricular activities — their grooming and personality development to being vigilant about who their friends are — it’s a race against time to give them a life which does not lack anywhere.

It is no wonder that many mothers end up giving a secondary place to their careers or interests for fear that it will result in the neglect of their children.

But once the kids grow up to be teenagers, mothers find themselves at a loss. The young no longer want a 24-hour chaperone. The daughters who wished to share every minute of their school day with you or drag you shopping, now prefer to do so with their ‘besties’. The sons whom you drove to riding class or swimming practice, can drive better and faster and have a social life which no longer includes you.

Maryam Murtaza Sadriwala talks to women who found their calling after forty

Instead of floundering in self-pity, many mothers take this opportunity to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Naseem, 55, despised wiling away her time at home once her son was married and her daughter-in-law had taken over the reins on the domestic front. “I always had a penchant for handbags and decided to start an online handbag business. It made me do what I liked best, which was to buy handbags! The only difference is, I buy them for others now,” she laughs. “I have discovered I have a knack for business!”

Sukina’s children are now teenagers and pursuing higher education. Her break from the joint-family system proved to be instrumental in looking for an occupation. Never the one to think that she could teach, she now finds herself enjoying teaching pre-schoolers. “It’s nice to have a disciplined routine,” she confides. “It’s not just about the money; it makes me feel worthwhile and because it’s a half day job I can see to the daily requirements of my home as well.”

Forty-year-old Fatema, mother of three grown up children, began to pursue her MBA when she felt she had ample time on her hands. “I wished to do some courses which would help give impetus to the small-time tailoring boutique I was running from home.” She admits that initially, everything was Greek and Latin to her in business class but as she got more involved she realised what a huge world existed beyond her home and family.

But perhaps the most inspiring example is that of Mrs Munir. Married when she was but a girl of 15 to an army officer, the first 25 years of marriage were spent in a furore of raising four children and adjusting to different military postings. It was when she was a grandmother of two that she started working for an all-women’s sales company. “It was actually my daughter who started working and she needed someone to drive her around to reach her trainings and demo-appointments. Ironically, my daughter gave up only one month into the job while I discovered that I had developed a fascination for it.”

After 15 years and now at 62 years of age, Mrs Munir still enjoys her job as sales executive. “Two of my sons have moved to Dubai and my daughters are married but I don’t feel lost because I have a job which I thoroughly enjoy. It is this involvement in my occupation which has kept me active and healthy and helped me to not become an interfering mother-in-law,” she says, her bright smile and twinkling eyes belying her age.

Maimoona also got married when she was 20 and had four kids in the next six years in quick succession. After trying a few stints at designing clothes at home and doing exhibitions, Maimoona’s life changed when she hit her 40s. She was impressed with a female sales representative working for a multinational educational company who came to her home selling educational books. “When this lady offered to recruit me, I jumped at the chance! The timings of the sales job were flexible. Once I started working, I became more organised. The housework which I would linger over for half a day got done before 9am.”

Today, after two decades at the same organisation, Maimoona is Regional Manager and a grandmother. She wants to share her story with other women because she feels an occupation infused her with confidence and helped discover her true potential. “It’s not important that you do a nine-to-five job. There are so many options out there. Just find something to hone your skills,” she shares. “It’s never too late! You might just surprise yourself!”

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, December 28th, 2014