“There were days when I would feel okay, but at times, within a single day, there was a roller-coaster of feelings. I thought it was stress, so I tried to distract myself by focusing on work, and surrounding myself with people, which helped for a while. But the nagging feeling didn’t go away ... over a period of time, it got worse…” confessed the current reigning queen of Bollywood, actress Deepika Padukone in a recent interview.

Though these are Deepika’s own words, the same could have been spoken by Shah Rukh Khan, Ranveer Singh, Anushka Sharma, Salman Khan, Sanjay Dutt, Govinda, Kareena Kapoor and many others who live under the very bright lights of the Bollywood film industry. Most of them, at one time or the other, have confessed on-record to having battled bouts of anxiety, depression or even displayed behavior that gave others the impression that everything wasn’t okay with them. While some went on to seek medical help, others battled these demons in private.

Deepika was shooting for the film Happy New Year when she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She was put on medication after consultations with two psychiatrists. Recently, Anushka Sharma too confessed that she was under medication for ‘issues’ related to anxiety; she also admitted that her family has a history of succumbing to depression.

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Deepika Padukone and other Bollywood stars could easily identify with these lines from a Freddie Mercury song ‘inside my heart is breaking … but my smile still says on.’

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While Ranveer Singh has never openly admitted to seeking treatment, it’s alleged that soon after the fatal suicide bid of a close friend, Ranveer went into depression. The actor is not too expressive when it comes to his feelings, but people close to him, including Deepika, realised his suffering and silently supported him. Eventually he had to seek out professional help. In fact, Deepika became aware of her own problem with depression after seeing Ranveer suffer from it, and it was the reason why she openly addressed the problem.

A couple of years ago Bollywood badshah Shah Rukh Khan confessed to having suffered from bouts of depression. He incurred a spinal injury in 2001 but because of his commitments he had continued shooting regardless. Then his condition became so bad that he had to undergo anterior cervical discectomy and fusion surgery at Wellington Hospital in London which resulted in him developing issues related to anxiety and depression.

Depression has been a part of Bollywood from its very early days and often ended in tragedy: Guru Dutt, Manmohan Desai, Parveen Babi, Silk Smita and a host of other personalities took their own life in while plunged in the depths of despair. Back then no one dared speak about it for fear of bringing ‘disgrace’ to his or her name. More recently in 2013 emerging actress Jia Khan committed suicide after having apparently fought and lost a long battle with depression caused by career woes and emotional abuse.

Battling demons

Even today, mental trauma is stigmatized in South Asian society. Though Dilip Kumar never made it public at the time that he was undergoing treatment for depression, in his later years he admitted to it. Dubbed as the ‘Tragedy King’, he was deeply affected by the roles he used to play. After playing the title character in Bimal Roy’s Devdas in which a lover turns to drink in order to dull the pain of his broken heart, Dilip Sahib found himself facing acute depression. He admitted in interviews that he got dangerously close to his character’s personality and had to seek psychiatric help to overcome it. His doctors and counselors advised him against playing any more tragic roles, which resulted in him taking on light-hearted roles in films like Azaad, Kohinoor, Ram aur Shyam, Ganga Jamuna, Madhumati and many more.

Then there was Dharmendra who drank entirely too much. It is said that he battled depression for nearly 15 years. He took to drinking and almost became an alcoholic, but eventually overcame it.

When famous Thumri singer Nirmala Arun died, her son, actor Govinda plunged into severe depression. “I was very close to my mother and couldn’t think of a world without her. My depression was such that while I was shooting on the streets of Paris for Hero No.1, I started crying. I needed medical assistance.”

Renowned Mumbai-based psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria of Mindtemple, a counseling center that caters to psychiatric, emotional and behavioural concerns of people, admits, “I have dealt with a bunch of celebrities who suffer from anxiety and depression, which damaged their personalities and manifested itself as insomnia, addiction, loneliness, eating disorders, and also divorces and separations.”

According to Dr Chhabria, having to deal with the pressure of constantly being in the limelight can lead to elevated stress levels. It’s not easy being a celebrity: your life is open to public scrutiny and your performance and appearance are constantly being questioned and criticized. Often working 24/7, they quite often they have to forego sleep and still look their best. Then there are times when they are away from family, friends or partners for long periods of time.

“To beat stress, some media personalities seek respite in excessive drinking, smoking and even drugs. Put together, all this makes them reach a burnout point. It also begins to adversely affect their work and relationships, and recognising the problem, accepting it and seeking help is often delayed until the problem becomes acute,’’ explains Dr Chhabria.

Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty has treated many film and television actors. He says, “Maybe they’re famous names in the world of glitz and glamour but they too come from the same universe as us. They face the same pressure as other individuals. Some of them buckle under pressure. Sadly, the public fails to understand their problems or even sympathise with them.”

More and more people from the media industry are coming out and admitting to feeling sad or depressed and admitting that they have problems. This change in attitude might make the stigma associated with depression will go away. With greater awareness, those who may need professional help will then seek it without fear of stigma.

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, March 22nd , 2015

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