Every week, I hear frustrated parents telling me how hard it is for them to separate their children from smart screens.

Last week, during clinical practice, a child threw a violent tantrum when I asked him to put down his phone and be attentive to the conversation. He destroyed the furniture in the office and threw away legos and toys because he could not separate himself from ‘Angry Birds’.

A few days later, I triaged a child who was feeling suicidal because someone stole her virtual money on a popular video game, Minecraft.

It is the age of instant communication and we are spending an unprecedented amount of time in front of smart screens, whether those of televisions, phones, tablets or computers. Streets, parks, restaurants, waiting rooms in offices ... everywhere, we see people glued to their handheld devices. Inside homes too, people will probably be found staring at television or laptop screens.

This behaviour is taking a toll on our physical, social and mental health.

Excessive use of these gadgets harms normal social and cognitive development in children and adolescents. They end up missing out on important life activities such as imagination and creative play, social interactions with peers, physical workouts, and other important life skills such as problem-solving and self-regulation of emotions.

See: Screen addiction

It is not unusual when family members living in the same household call or text each other to communicate. And this habit does not come without consequence: the bonds of attachment between friends and family members weakens as people slip via phones and computers into high-tech personal spaces during regular conversation.

Smartphones as ‘babysitters’

I host BBQ parties at my home a few times every year. After regular greetings, one of the first things the guests want to know is the password for WiFi. For the past couple of years, I have had the log-in information printed on a page and pasted on a board at a visible spot for everyone to see. I do that to play a gracious host, but it should go without saying that it ruins the purpose of a party intended for people to talk to each other.

I remember a patient during my internship year who checked himself out of the hospital against the doctor's advice, because he was frustrated that the hospital did not have WiFi for patients. In the past few years, all the hospitals I have worked in, have had free public WiFi access for patients as well as their relatives.

Even worse, television screens and video games are widely being used as ‘babysitters’. When parents or other family members are busy elsewhere, they turn on some screen to keep the children busy – we passively train them to live in a virtual reality.

Later on in life, these people may have relationship problems because they did not learn the clues of social communication at a young age.

Also read: Are you aware of your child's online life?

Usman Khalid, a psychiatrist in Australia, thinks that exposing children to the screen may interfere with their psychological growth, as the brain is developing and growing rapidly at that age; children may confuse reality with the virtual world.

As these technologies are relatively new, we will have to wait a decade or more for the results of long-term studies to become available. But the American Pediatrics Association recommends no screen time before age two; later, not more than two hours of screen time a day, to prevent obesity and other physical illnesses.

No one can deny the advantages of technology and its everyday use. In an age when wearable mobile technology is a fashion statement, online dating is more popular than ever before.

It is becoming increasingly hard to separate personal life from the virtual one. But without doubt, we need to limit the use of technology so as to take charge of our own lives.

In an attempt to do that, I personally turned off my Facebook and other social media accounts during the past few weeks and am enjoying a social life more than I have ever before.

While there is no escape from technology in this modern world, we can take measures to change our lifestyles and use these gadgets and devices to help rather than harm us.

How one household changed

A colleague of mine initiated just that change. He told me that when he goes home from work now, he puts his phone and pager aside for a couple of hours. He does not check his emails and text messages till he finishes his dinner. He spends this time with family. The seating in the family room faces other members of the family, not the TV. No screens are allowed in the house before dinner.

At bedtime, all devices in the house are left at the charging dock in the living room, and the WiFi is turned off. Everyone communicates, talks and plays with each other. The children in the house are well aware of the house rules, which afford them only a limited time with television and other gadgets.

In the beginning, the kids complained about being bored and anxious about what their friends were up to in the digital world, but strong family bonding helped to calm tempers during this time of stress. The parents helped deal with the anxiety and frustration by openly talking about the problem and letting the children vent their frustration in a nurturing environment.

To quote Allama Iqbal,

Hai dil ke liye mout machinon ki hukoomat
Ehsas-e-murawwat ko kuchal dete hain aalaat

[Death to the heart, machines stand sovereign
Engines crush all sense of human kindness]