Her most recent return to her husband's home — her home — was marked by a particularly gruesome act. Dania's parents were informed by a neighbour that their daughter had been hospitalised because her husband had poured bleach into her mouth. It was another chapter in the sordid episodes of abuse that have come to define Dania's married life.
Efforts to have her husband held accountable with the local police have borne no fruit. The police too encourages the two parties to reach a compromise. According to Dania, they said the crime of making her ingest bleach "did not seem like one to warrant punishment".
“I work now,” she says, gesturing at small decoration items scattered on the bed at her mother's home. “I am feeding my children.” As always, she is pushing for divorce but her family is not convinced. They don’t want her to live with her husband, but they are not ready for her to end her marriage either.
“We have our family’s honour to protect,” her brother says. The complicated notion of honour has already had a ripple effect in the family. Dania’s frequent returns home have brought about an unintended consequence for her family — one of her sisters is no longer married.
“Another one of my sisters was married for 10 years," says Dania's brother. "After we began police proceedings against her husband for attempted murder, that sister was divorced. Her in-laws said our family attacks in-laws and her marriage ended.”
While Dania is adamant she will not return, the likelihood is that after the dust settles, her family will once again push her in that direction.
Her brother places his faith in God, who he believes will fix everything.
“Maybe He will make them more human,” he suggests, “Maybe her husband will realise he had children with her. We have hope, we don’t want her divorced.”
Things work in a "set way" here and societal pressures are heavy. Her brother says that’s because it’s not a city; it’s a village. When a married woman in their village stays at her mother’s house for a long period of time "it is a terrible and dishonourable thing”.
“We have a saying,” he goes on to explain. “Once a woman leaves her mother’s house as a bride, she can only return in a coffin.”
So would he rather she die than get divorced?
As if wondering the same, he slowly nods. “For us, her getting divorced would be much worse than her dying.
All names have been changed to protect privacy
Header illustration: Rohail Safdar | Text box illustration: Fahad Naveed
For women like Akifa, financial dependence forces staying in abusive marriages. Click the tab below to read her story.
Behind the closed doors of their picture-perfect life, her husband abused her regularly since a week after their marriage
Outside a park in Lahore, Akifa looks around to see who is watching and quickly steps out of her car. She cannot meet at her house, where it would be impossible to discuss her ordeal. Other public spots, she says, are too crowded and make her uneasy.
On the surface, her life is textbook perfect. She secured a masters degree at a time when most women barely made it through their intermediate schooling. Her family is well off, and her husband’s oft-touted story of rags to riches impresses many. “People look up to him because of his humble beginnings,” she says, “He is a self-made man.”
But he is also an abuser. Behind the closed doors of their picture-perfect life, he has been abusing her regularly since a week after their marriage.