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19 Jan, 2017
12:13pm
The curious case of #BananaLeaks
Nadeem F. Paracha
In 2016, a heap of fresh banana peels was found in a remote corner of Guatemala, South America. According to a WikiLeaks report, the peels belonged to an assortment of high-value bananas in numerous countries, including Pakistan.
International media dubbed the discovery, ‘BananaLeaks’. After studying the WikiLeaks documents for days, major news sites promptly created … a twitter hashtag: #BananaLeaks.
The fall-out of the leaks was swift in some countries. The Prime Banana (PB) of Iceland confessed that he stashed the banana peels in Guatemala. His people weren’t amused. He was forced to resign by some angry Icelanders.
UK’s Prime Banana (PB) confessed that his dad had some banana peels stashed in Guatemala. The PB added that he didn’t even like bananas, so there was no reason for him to be a part of his dad’s doings. However, he resigned after a ‘Yes’ BananaExit vote. All migrants in the UK caught eating a banana will now be deported.
Situation in Pakistan turned tense when a popular opposition banana demanded that the country’s PB resign for having stashing peels in Guatemala. The PB responded by saying that the peels belonged to his children, not him.
After the PB refused to resign, the opposition banana came out on the streets to protest.
Violence between the protesting bananas and police erupted. Many arrests were made.
After failing to topple the PB, the opposition banana filed a case against the PB in the courts.
Every day the mighty opposition banana claimed victory in the case.
… But so did the PB’s spokesman
… And the TV news channels had a field day …
And this went on and on and on …
Until …
Thus, of course …
Disclaimer: This article is categorised as satire.
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