Photo: ttcritich.wordpress.com
Dear Mr Trump (dramatic music)
It is surprising that you have not uttered a single word on Panama Leaks. Why? Indeed, you are a better person than that liberal-fascist Obama, but it is important that you condemn corruption. In Pakistan. On my channel.
I like your style. It’s just like mine, even though I believe I foam in the mouth a lot more quickly than you do. But you are getting there.
Sir, Panama Leaks is a major international issue. In Pakistan. On my channel.
Yet, you have said nothing about it. Why? Are you trying to defend your asset in Islamabad?
We know our PM is a US stooge. He’s an Indian stooge as well. So, logically, you would like to protect him. But, sir, let me warn you, he is also a Chinese stooge and an Iranian stooge. He is being hypnotised by a very dangerous man Najam Sethi, who is a member of a secret illuminati Manchurian think-tank called Apas Ki Baat. He is the one who planned the Bowling Green Massacre. I have proof of this. Check my tweets.
So, if you want to put a travel ban on Pakistan, put it on our PM first.
You must rage foam-in-the-mouth about the corrupt mafia of Pakistan. You must call us the most corrupt country in the world. Sir, all I am trying to do is set a positive image of Pakistan.
Anyway, I’ll be back after this commercial break.
Zalima Coca-Cola pila dey …
Did you see that? The hold Jews have in Pakistan? Yes, they pay for TV shows like mine, but I never ever use their products. Never. *Burp … excuse me.*
So, Mr President, when are you going to give a statement on Panama Leaks? Or will you send a letter to defend our corrupt PM, like that Qatari prince did?
However, if you are planning to send a letter, please send one for my boss too, the owner of the TV channel I work for. He is being attacked by a diabolical Yemeni liberal-fascist conspiracy! I’m sure you can understand and empathise with that.
Rest assured, if you do send a letter in the defence of my boss, then my channel will hail your Muslim travel ban. We will support all of your polices, and even dye our hair orange.
Until then, I am sending you cuttings on the corruption of our PM from the most popular, credible and influential newspaper in the world: Roznama Rona (Daily Whining). In Pakistan. On my channel.
Yours fellow foaming-in-the-mouth chum,
Sohail Jan (dramatic music).
From a ‘Liberal’ Pakistani: