In the process of growing up and wanting to be liked by others, we often forget about the one person who should be important to us — ourselves. We forget that we need as much attention and love as anybody else. We forget that we are as important as others. We ignore the person who will always be there for us, that is ourselves!

From a very young age, we have been taught to put others first, to value and love others. I remember being taught at school how to love my parents, friends and even pets, but I do not remember the last time someone taught me how to love myself. Thus, with such a mindset, we end up seeing self-love as a selfish act. We know that we need self love but we have difficulty in giving ourselves the permission to practice it. How sad it is.

Self-love is a beautiful thing. It is not being self-obsessed or selfish, it’s accepting your own strengths and weaknesses, regardless of how big or small they are. It is showing compassion towards oneself. It is reminding yourself of why your existence is important. It is a foundation for who we actually are.

Those of us who have actually experienced self-love will agree with me that it’s a very beautiful and mystical experience. We actually see ourselves growing more positively and gaining self-esteem. Things fall into place automatically and life feels good.

Many of us claim that we love ourselves, but do we actually do that? Follow these simple steps and fall in love with yourself like you should.

Focus on what you need rather than what you want. People believe that we love ourselves when we give ourselves whatever we want, but is it true? No, self-love is when you turn away from things you want but you know deep down that no matter how exciting they may look right now, sometime in the future these things may harm you.

Hence by staying focused on things you need; you automatically turn away from behaviours and things that can get you in trouble.

Good self-care. An essential part of self-love is taking good care of ourselves. We should get more involved in healthy activities such as exercise, social interactions, sleeping on time, eating healthy food and so on.

When we will be physically fit our mind will work more positively and we will be able to make the best decisions for ourselves.

Set Limits. We need to remind ourselves that we are just human beings and there is a limit to everything we can do. So set a limit and so avoid activities which drain positivity out of you and may harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Get rid of things you don’t want. Stick with people and things who make you feel good about yourself, who guide and help you in becoming a better person.

Get rid of people who take away the shine from your face and make you feel bad about yourself. We all have friends who are always making us feel small and putting us down, they will simply bring your self-esteem down, so avoid their company. This way you will be able to love and respect yourself more.

Forgive yourself. We always tell ourselves that it’s good to forgive others and give them another chance, but do we give ourselves another chance? We sometimes tend go very hard on ourselves.

We punish ourselves for way too long by reminding ourselves of the mistakes we have made. We should remember that we are not perfect and that there are no complete failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes, you can accomplish anything you want.

You are best version of yourself. Yes, we are all flawed, imperfect and weird. But we should always remember that we are the best version of our weird and flawed self. We are all unique. Nobody is better than us nor are we better than others. Everyone is beautifully weird in their own way and that’s what makes everyone special.

Others don’t define you. Our family, grades, college, siblings or friends don’t define us, except for ourselves. Only we have the power to present and look how we want and be what we aspire to be.

Life goes on. Remind yourself that good and bad things are meant to happen in our lives but nothing lasts forever. Every morning might not be a bright and sunny one, but it is a new morning where new beginnings can be made and much accomplished.

How will we know that we actually love ourselves? When you feel as happy for yourself as you do for others, when you feel as proud of yourself as you do for others, when you feel as protective about yourself as you do for your loved ones and, most importantly, when you have the strength to accept your emotions and qualities without the fear of what others might think — you are in love with the most beautiful person alive, you.

Published in Dawn, Young World March 11th, 2017