I hated winter. I hated the dryness that suffocated my surrounding. I hated the feeling of dread it gave you with its bleakness. And I hated how pathetic I was for still missing my brother who left me on a cold, winter’s night, when I needed him the most.

“Hey,” Vanna sat down beside me, her face practically glowing with delight. Unlike me, she loved winter. It was her favourite time of the year. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about him.”

“What else do you expect me to think about?” I grumbled. “From the first icy breeze to the last melted snow, all I see is him. It’s like he’s etched in the weather itself and no matter how much time passes, nothing can remove his presence.”

I didn’t even realise I’d started to cry until Vanna took out a tissue and dabbed it on my cheeks. “It’s okay,” she mumbled softly. “We’ll get through this. You’ll see.”

I just nodded silently as more tears cascaded from my eyes.

“You know what?” Vanna suddenly spoke. “I know exactly what’ll cheer you up!”

“You’ve only known me for a week; you’re not my best friend.” I sneered. “How could you possibly know what cheers me up?”

“Well,” Vanna ignored my sarcastic tone, “I know your brother ditched you and ran away to live a good life while you are stuck here with your impudent aunt. Name me a friend who knows that.”

I stared at her in shock.

“What?” Vanna smirked. “Did my insolence hurt you?”

“Fine, sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. So what’s on your mind?”

Vanna clapped her hands together, “We’re going to ski down the highest hill we can possibly find. What do you say?”

I opened my mouth to protest but got pulled up by Vanna, who had apparently already made the decision for me.

“This is so stupid,” I muttered, staring down the steep slope Vanna had managed to drag me to. “Oh God, we are so going to die.”

But Vanna would hear none of my complaints and forced me to sit down on our makeshift sledge. With a shrill scream, she propelled me forward.

I screamed and laughed simultaneously as I plunged into the air and landed in the snow, bolting down the hill. Cold wind whipped at my face and butterflies fluttered in my chest. I felt as if I was going through space and I was invincible. When I finally came to rest, I could hear blood pumping in my ears. My cheeks flushed with excitement.

I turned around and grinned at Vanna. “That was awesome!”

“What did I tell you?” Vanna laughed proudly.

I entered my house, exhaling slowly because I knew what was to come, my aunt yelling at me yet again for going nine minutes over my curfew. I stepped inside and closed the front door as quietly as I could so as not to alarm Aunt Esther of my arrival.

“Is that you, Gina?”

“Yes, Aunt Esther,” I replied monotonously and plodded into the living room where she sat.

She was staring at me with that look of hers which practically screamed her signature line, ‘Your parents didn’t teach you any manners before they went ahead and died, did they?’

“I’m sorry,” I said before she even spoke, “I won’t be irresponsible in the future.”

“Don’t worry,” She scowled, “because there will be no future for you in this house.”

I gawked at her in shock. Was she kicking me out?

“You’ve been no help around here, anyway. So you won’t be missed.”

I could feel myself crumbling in exhaustion.

“I… I’m sorry,” I stuttered and immediately despised myself for sounding so pitiful.

Aunt Esther just shook her head. “There is no place for you here. But I think Bainbridge can make some room for you.”

I looked up to see if she was being sarcastic. For the first time in her life, she was not.

“The magazine people called today,” Aunt Esther said with genuine delight. “They’ve accepted you as a young journalist! They’re sending a car for you tomorrow!”

I guffawed. I couldn’t believe my ears. Me, an anonymous girl from the suburbs, working in Bainbridge Island. I never would’ve gotten this opportunity had Vanna not forced me to apply.

“I know I’ve not been the most amazing aunt, but I was just depressed,” Aunt Esther looked down guiltily, “I know there’s no excuse I can make to cover up for my harshness and I’m sorry Robin ran away. But you should know I tried to stop him. I just didn’t try hard enough.”

My legs propelled me forward and I hugged her, surprising us both.

“It’s okay. I know you lost your sister and I’m sorry that I never cared about how you were coping. I only saw her as my mother and not anyone else’s anything.”

“Thank God for Vanna, right?” I added light-heartedly.

Aunt Esther knitted her brows, “Who’s Vanna?”

“You know, Vanna Malarkey? The girl who moved here last month?” I answered, perplexed.

“I know the whole neighbourhood by heart,” Aunt Esther said. “I know everyone who comes and goes and I am positive no Malarkeys moved here.”

“Um, okay. I guess I’ll just go and pack my bag for tomorrow!” I said cheerily and ran upstairs.

As I was packing my suitcase, I heard a ping! I looked out of the window to see Vanna waiting below in my garden. I climbed out of my window and down the drainpipe.

I told her all about my job and my new-found respect for my aunt and she listened patiently.

“I guessed, we’ll be on our separate paths now,” she made an almost sad smile.

“What? You can’t leave me now. From the first day you’ve been here, you’ve completely changed my outlook on life, you can’t just disappear. Not when everything is so perfect!”

Vanna gave me a motherly smile, “That’s what I was meant to do. Ask yourself, do you really need me now?”

“You don’t have friends just because you need them,” I was crying now and I was not ashamed, I just needed Vanna to see how much I loved her. She was the sister I never had.

“Do you know what the name Vanna means?” Vanna whispered.

“What?” I looked at her, befuddled.

“I know it’s hard for you now but you’ll get used to everything. You’ll see. You’ll change just as the weather does.”

That was the last I saw of Vanna. I shifted to Bainbridge permanently with a roommate who instantly became a good friend. My life changed every day and I took it as well as I could. My aunt and I talked every night and always met on the weekends.

I loved winter now. It didn’t remind me of my brother anymore, but filled me with my love for Vanna. Every time I went back home, I would sit on that same hill where Vanna had changed my life. Winter was the beautiful time of rebirth and newness. And I looked forward to it every year.

I had once searched Vanna’s name and felt immense pleasure in learning what it meant and what, coincidently, she was to me: God’s gift.

Published in Dawn, Young World, January 5th, 2019