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Published 30 Mar, 2019 07:05am

Social skills: The art of people management

Most of us encounter difficult or different-natured people, at the workplace or at home, and it’s not easy to let a challenging person ruin our whole day.

Dealing with difficult people is just generally uncomfortable, especially when the behaviour affects more than one person. Dealing with them is tougher when they are attacking you, stealthy criticising you or undermining your professional contribution. You may find them behaving as the bully, the whiner, the procrastinator, the know-it-all, the silent type, the social butterfly, the rookie, the overly sensitive person and the manipulator.

Frankly, if you want to stay in touch and still have a good relationship with the above-mentioned personalities, you must have a survival guide to handle them. I am not providing you with a survival guide here, but helping you with a few tips to deal with these difficult people in real life.

The bully

A bully intimidates, torments and frightens other people. The tactics may vary, but the results are the same. You may have bullies in your school. They will remain bullies throughout their life. You may see them around even after your school, may be in your college, university and even at your workplace.

However, you should act intelligently for the restoration of harmony and friendly atmosphere. But remember, they can make your life hell anytime, so you have to be ready to stand up to them firmly.

The whiner

This person crouches and groans and makes it seem like an hour does not pass without something horrible happening to them. Yet, he or she rarely, if ever, makes a suggestion that might serve to resolve the alleged problem.

First and foremost, you are advised to stay away from such people. Only group discussions with positive-minded people can help this type of difficult personalities. If you can’t bear them, just stay away and don’t let them bring negativity in your life.

However, if you are the one who complains a lot, it’s time to examine yourself and reflect on what others might be thinking about you.

The procrastinator

Look in the mirror. Do you see a procrastinator? It is human nature to delay and put off doing things for a variety of reasons. But it becomes a problem when you don’t seem to get anything done on time.

Anyway, in order to fix this type of problem, there is a need to get to the root of the cause of this procrastination. Otherwise, be ready to see and accept the problems that arise from not being on time when doing things.

The know-it-all

Hypothetically speaking, if every individual did know it all, then life would always be in top gear and our teachers and managers would always be smiling.

To deal with such class of the people, you have to be very smart and try your best to not put them on display. However, keep asking smart questions without a degree of disrespect for them.

Slowly, they might become aware of the fact that they are not the human version of Google!

The silent type

Whoever said, ‘silence is golden’ didn’t know that people who are of the silent type will make you work harder to obtain any kind response or feedback from them.

To handle such people, you have to beef up communication channels and do your best to improve his or her communication skills. Or ask questions in a manner that it becomes mandatory for them to answer in detail, but don’t stare at them during this time so as not to make them nervous!

They are probably shy and an introvert, give them space and be patient with them. Eventually, where they are more comfortable, they will open up.

The social butterfly

Someone who finds it easy to chat and interact with usually everyone is virtually a delightful person to have in your group. This person might assist the silent type and others, like the rookie or the overly sensitive person.

However, to manage this type of the person you must be extra vigilant because the butterflies often can’t seem to meet deadlines as they are too busy being all over the place, interacting with everyone than sitting down to do what they should be doing. Thus in order to achieve deadlines, they need to be pushed to get down to doing serious business.

The ‘no people skills’ person

The phrase foot-in-the-month was probably invented after observing the ‘no people skills’ person in action. The person might be very smart professionally, but when it comes to interacting with people, they are hopeless!

Help and mentoring is the only solution for such people and, above all, to get them ready to help themselves. They should learn to deal with people, otherwise this type of people can only harm themselves.

The rookie

The rookie is someone who is inexperienced, like a fresh-out-of-school person, with little or no professional experience and exposure. They need proper guidance and coaching from experienced and senior members and they will bloom into their true selves.

The overly sensitive person

This label is sometimes used to put a person on a defence mode, suggesting that something is wrong with the ‘sensitive’ person and not with the individual who makes the accusation.

It is often even a defence for harassment. An overly sensitive person is especially serious about their ambitions, jobs and they take any criticism to heart and magnify it.

They always need special care like you have to keep reminding them that how his/her actions impact your group’s overall performances. You have to keep them motivated. Over and above, you have to sell them the theory of “Two heads are better than one”.

The manipulator

The manipulator is an artful bully. Instead of intimidating or tormenting, the manipulator cajoles and manoeuvres you to suit to his or her desires.

How to tackle this one?

Well, don’t give in when you know you’re right. Take time between listening and actions, when you differ. Deliver the message in a simple sentence. Learn the art of saying, ‘No’.

Published in Dawn, Young World, March 30th, 2019

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