How does it feel when someone praises you for the work you’ve done? Do you feel motivated to do more next time, or improve on the ideas? Does your interest increase after the recognition you get for the work?

While everyone enjoys being acclaimed for the good work they do, but there’s something else that every performer wants, though they may not realise this — the challenge to do more.

As much as it is necessary for a person, be it a child or a grown up, to be applauded and encouraged, it is also necessary that their ideas be challenged, the loopholes be discovered and, above all, the person not be overpraised as it may harm their self-esteem.

Consider a friend who sees a child drawing something appreciates her for drawing well. The friend tells the kid that the drawing is amazing and, for extra encouragement, also says what a wonderful artist the child is.

It seems like a pretty nice way to encourage someone to draw well, but it may cause some harm also. You see, apparently the comment is innocent, but it may implant a fixed idea in the child’s mind about her being someone who always draws well and that it comes naturally to her. So, the next time if the kid draws something and it doesn’t turn out as well as the previous one, or at least that is what she thinks, it may restrain her from seeking advice, let alone approval from others, for the fear that it may harm her reputation as an artist. It might lead to the fixed mindset that she’s too smart to try harder, or that art should come to her as an innate talent, naturally and effortlessly.

However, the fact is that quality results are produced when the performer works on it continuously, creates a lot of stuff and reviews it continuously without bias. The end result may sometimes not even be close to good, but that opens up opportunities to explore the work more.

This exactly is what growth is all about. Success doesn’t come all of a sudden and your progress might even waver between good and bad (or sometimes worse too). Coming down a step doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or you lack the skill. It simply means you need to try again and again to polish the rough edges and the difficulties you face throughout the process is needed to make your work outstanding. That talents are innate, is an outworn idea. Leaders are not born, they are trained, groomed and taught.

When a person seeks your approval, appreciate them but also imply that it is the process that matters the most, and this will lead the person to discover more opportunities to improve and delve deeper into the subject. Also, challenge their work; ask how they do it. This may sound like confrontation, but the tone and style you adopt makes all the difference and the performer feels at ease in sharing their experiences with you. Show genuine interest and curiosity. Make them feel like they matter, their work matters.

Success requires a growth mindset, one that believes in the room for improvement, rejects the notion that things should come easily, no matter what the magnitude of it is, even if you’re supposed to be good at it or not.

You must understand that abandoning the attempt entirely or feeling guilty or embarrassed if you don’t perform up to your own or your peers’ expectations is the single most failure you can let yourself fall prey to. And unlike all the failures in the universe, this one doesn’t even provide the opportunity to grow and flounder.

Published in Dawn, Young World, March 27th, 2021