There comes a time in everyone’s life when we become acutely conscious of what other people think, feel and say about us. We can try and deny it, but it’s true nonetheless.

This happens to us all, but we don’t always know how to get out of this state. Ignoring anything, especially the way we feel, can only bring us harm or intensify the problem. We have to face whatever comes our way, that is life. So, when that time came for Ayesha, that is precisely what she learnt to do.

It was the middle of the day and Ayesha was feeling especially drowsy. The maths lesson had just finished, leaving her weary and spent. She put her head down to rest for a bit before the next teacher arrived, but the voices in the back were making it difficult. She was just about to tell them to quieten down when she caught bits of what they were talking about.

“My cousin was wearing this long shirt with trousers at the wedding, which looked completely ridiculous. What happened to a decent gharara, like the pretty one I was wearing?”

“You mean like the one Ayesha was wearing at the party a couple of weeks ago?”

“Ugh, no! Ayesha’s was dull and boring. She looked really fat in it too.”

Ayesha’s heart sank upon hearing her friends talk about her this way. She switched seats so she couldn’t hear them anymore and went to sit with her best friend, Farah. But Farah was busy doing maths sums with Amna, aiming to complete her homework before the next teacher arrived.

Amna and Farah seemed really close these days, and Ayesha felt more and more left out as the days passed. It made her want to cry, considering she had so few friends.

She kept quiet about how she felt, because if she discussed this with Farah, she might think she was too needy and selfish. Then she would have no friends left. It was better to stay quiet. Instead, she conversed with Adeena, who always made her laugh just by being honest.

The next day, they were heading on a trip to Khewra Mines. Ayesha was genuinely excited about the trip, considering this would be the first time in months that she and Farah would be spending any time together. She could finally talk to her friend again.

The trip to the mines was pleasant. They chatted, sang, ate and played cards. This was the first time in a long while that it didn’t feel as if there was a huge void between them.

The mines, oh, the mines! They were gorgeous! Salt was embedded in the walls, and the bits of it on the roof were shaped like stalactites, with sharp edges and a glistening appearance. It was absolutely enthralling.

The most wondrous part was the clear water seeping in from through the holes the miners had dug for oxygen. In the dark, it looked like thin strands of web were coating the surface. Walking over the bumpy floor of the mines proved to be quite a thrilling experience.

On the ride home, Ayesha felt at peace. This was a releaf not to feel judged, instead she was simply enjoying herself. However, her good mood was spoilt not long after, when Farah passed a rather hurtful comment.

“Amna, you are my number one competition,” she declared loudly.

“Me? No, that’s Ayesha. Her grades are excellent,” Amna responded.

“They’re good, but yours are better,” Farah interjected.

Amna and Ayesha both fell quiet. Amna evaded Ayesha’s gaze, and Farah didn’t seem to realise what she had said might have been a tad inappropriate.

After a few minutes, Ayesha pulled out a book and started reading to hide the forlorn look on her face. She switched seats with Amna so she could chat with Adeena about her dejected state.

“People keep saying things about me that I don’t think are true, but they say them with such conviction that I can’t help but wonder if they are right,” she complained.

Adeena tossed a piece of popcorn in her mouth before responding. “See what I just did there?”

“Ate some popcorn?” Ayesha responded.

“Yes, now use that as a metaphor,” Adeena nodded in encouragement.

Ayesha paused, thinking before replying, “You’re saying I’m like that piece of popcorn. If I keep pondering over what people say about me, then their words will eat me up like you ate it. Am I right?”

Adeena shrugged, “I don’t know man, you’re the smart one. I was just eating popcorn.”

Ayesha laughed, “You are ridiculous!”

“Maybe. My mother calls me stupid out of love, even though I’m not stupid. My aunt calls me worthless, even though I’m not worthless. But when I try talking to them about it, they laugh it off, saying they’re just kidding. Ayesha, people are going to say things about you that aren’t true. All you can do is remember that they’re people too, they have faults and cracks here and there, just like you do.

“It doesn’t make you a bad or less capable person. The best way to prove people wrong is to grow, and to keep growing,” Adeena concluded her speech by tossing another popcorn in her mouth.

Ayesha was taken aback by Adeena’s words. This girl whom people called an attention-seeker, an idiot, a failure and what not, was wise beyond her years.

Adeena was right. It didn’t matter what her friends thought, or what her teachers thought, or even what her loved ones thought at times, she had to keep growing. She had to keep learning and fighting for everything she deserved, like the council member position that the teachers had given to the deputy head girl’s sister, even though Ayesha had worked really hard for it.

To prove people wrong, she first had to prove herself right. The best way to do that was to try, try and keep on trying.

Published in Dawn, Young World, December 11th, 2021