Tears trickled down Zara’s rosy cheeks. She could feel her heavy heart hammering in her chest due to the humiliation she had felt today. All she wanted to do was to get home as fast as lightning, curl up in a ball and sob silently. Her soft brown almond-shaped eyes, that once held nothing but compassion and kindness, had gone numb from the uncontrollable tears she had shed since the last six months.

Zara had been facing bullying in school since she moved to Lahore and was emotionally shattered and petrified for herself. She had tried several methods to blend in with her new classmates, from gifting them chocolates to doing their homework. She had gone to great lengths to fit in, yet all her efforts had gone down the drain. The bullying had gotten worse and unavoidable.

Her classmates, mainly Nayab’s group, were hell-bent on calling her unpleasant names as she didn’t comply with their demand of helping them cheat in exams and skip classes. However, she didn’t want to complain to her teacher about this issue as she feared being called a snitch and becoming socially isolated in class.

Therefore, when she reached home, she started to contemplate her previous decision. She was considering revoking her decision not to give in to their demands for the sake of maintaining friendships.

“Do not let them crush your confidence. Go to school tomorrow with a wide smile plastered on your face and, if they mock or insult you, make sure to stand up for yourself. This will surely serve as an example for others and instil confidence in them as well.”

She was deep in thought when surprisingly, she felt her mother’s footsteps in the lounge and then striding towards her room. Zara quickly fixed her hair and face as best as she could, and promised herself not to breakdown in front of her mother.

Her mother, Rida had enough on her plate already, due to the unexpected demise of Zara’s father and was working tirelessly, as she was the sole breadwinner. Zara’s mother was home early today and Zara wanted nothing, but to see the relief on her mother’s face, so she had to mask her emotions.

Rida peeked into Zara’s room and Zara greeted her with a half-smile. But Rida seemed startled to see her daughter’s red face and hurriedly engulfed her in a hug. Soon tears welled up in Zara’s eyes. She felt the sudden urge to release her emotions even though she had not intended to open up to her mother about her worries.

After voicing her concerns to her mother, Zara felt that a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Rida patiently listened to her daughter’s story and politely asked her a question that invoked confused feelings in Zara’s heart.

“Do you want to be like others after sacrificing your principles even when you know they are wrong?” exclaimed Zara’s mother.

Rida felt at loss of words, she desired to have a large group of friends, but sacrificing her morals seemed out of question for her, after she slowly digested her mother’s words and analysed her facial expressions.

She hummed a “No” to her mother softly.

Her mother slowly brushed off her hair and said, “Listen, there is nothing you should change about yourself, because you are not at fault. Allah is saving you from bad company. Therefore, think of this as a blessing. Do not push your boundaries for others — you are worth more than their expectations.

“Do not let them crush your confidence. Go to school tomorrow with a wide smile plastered on your face and, if they mock or insult you, make sure to stand up for yourself. This will surely serve as an example for others and instil confidence in them as well. Those that remain with you are your honest friends. So stick with them and trust the natural process of finding good friends unexpectedly.”

Zara felt light and happy, as if all she wanted was a push and that she got from her mother.

The next day, Zara’s school bell chimed, and she made her way into the class in a confident manner. She was at peace. Soon she saw the usual stuff: the degrading glances and grimacing faces of Nayab and her group.

“It smells horrible and feels weird; I think it is Zara’s lame aura,” Nayab said before bursting into laughter with her friends.

However, instead of feeling ridiculed, Zara confidently said, “Oh really, I thought it was coming from you.”

A bunch of other girls couldn’t control their laughter. Nayab was not expecting this, she looked dumb, but within seconds she got control over her nerves.

Taking the opportunity, Zara said, “I swear Nayab, say another word and I’ll report not only you but your dumb, joker friends to the principal for trying to cheat and bully everyone in the class!”

This felt as a hard slap to Nayab and her friends. They were shocked and humiliated in front of the whole class. Before they could think of responding to her, their class teacher entered.

At recess time, Nayab and her group felt sheepish as they saw other classmates had joined Zara in support. Nayab tried one more time with her friends to laugh at Zara, but they were shocked to see so many girls come and stand beside Zara, as Zara warned her not to mess with her any more.

Nayab felt trapped and knew that she was bound to face the wrath of her parents if the school communicated this matter to them. So after the recess, with her head hung low, Nayab apologised to Zara and promised to never bully anyone again.

Finally, Zara realised the power of her voice. She was no longer afraid of being called a snitch, as long as it was beneficial for hers and others’ mental health. Zara realised that this terminology ‘snitch’ was somewhat a façade made by people who indulged in wrong acts to cover up for themselves.

She finally pledged to herself that she would not bear any wrong and feel self-pity for herself, nor would she witness any wrongdoing and serve as a quiet bystander while she saw people suffer in silence.

Published in Dawn, Young World, April 30th, 2022