We are living in a technologically advanced world where everything is being digitised, from hand-held gadgets to educational devices. Sadly, our relationships are also more active digitally than they are physically.

There is no denying the fact that an important part of what makes us human is our need to be social. But everything must be done in a balanced manner. If there is a balance in things, nothing goes wrong, but if not, various unsettling feelings and emotions, like anxieties and fear, may develop, leaving you unhappy about your life.

Quite recently many youngster and adults are going through an uneasy feeling related to their social relationships, which has now been termed as ‘fear of missing out’ or FOMO. It describes a constant concern that something more interesting, exciting, or rewarding than what you’re currently doing is happening somewhere in your circle, but you are left out from it.

It’s like a paranoia that someone else has something better than what you have got. The feeling can best be further described as wherever you are or whatever you’re doing, doesn’t give you pleasure, but if your friend or someone you know is busy doing something, you get the impression that they are having a better time or leading a more exciting life than you are. For those who skew towards such feelings, smartphones with social media make it quite easier for them to track what others are doing.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting to know about the people we care about. But developing a FOMO disturbs one mentally and leaves one in great depression and anxiety.

The term FOMO has only been studied during the past few decades, beginning with a 1996 research paper by marketing strategist, Dr Dan Herman, who coined the term ‘fear of missing out’.

And the advent of social media apps has accelerated the FOMO phenomenon by providing a situation in which you are comparing your regular life to the highlights of others’ lives.

However, it should be kept in mind that social media has created a platform for bragging; it is a place where things, events and even happiness itself seems to be in competition at times.

The growing pressure

Recently, in my relatives, I noticed a girl under 12 years of age, quite anxious and under stress. Upon asking several times and trying to figuring out what was the reason behind her irritability, I found out that her friends were having a gathering and were sharing their pictures on social networking sites, while this little girl had not been allowed to go. So she was just scrolling through their fun-filled pictures and feeling that she was left out, and, therefore, will be no more remembered and all her friends will be together always.

I was literally shocked to see the level of anxiety in the tween, and tried comforting her, but this whole scenario made me wonder what our youth is literally going through. This kind of stress and anxiety that they face now was not something we went through in our childhood. Kids are constantly seeing the status and the activities their friends are participating in, which make them develop severe form of FOMO.

What to do if you feel FOMO

FOMO is a normal, but often unfounded feeling of regret when you think you’re not having as much fun as other people are. First and foremost, observe yourself, are you really anxious about other people’s life and feeling that you have been left out or will be no more remembered by your friends? If yes, take a moment to remind yourself that everyone feels this way from time to time, but that doesn’t mean your life is ‘bad’, or you are doing something ‘wrong’ or you will be left alone.

Remember, it’s not “wrong” to feel this way and it’s not “bad” to want to have fun and be with you circle of friends. What is wrong is the extent to which you are feeling this way. So to give yourself a break, stop focusing on other people’s fun and your own guilt.

A break could be as simple as sitting in silence or doing something completely unrelated to your current life or someone you are thinking about. A break could also be playing a board game with your sibling, watching a movie or going out with your family.

Relish in the existing moment

Wonderful things or things that fascinate you the most are happening out there, and sometimes you are not invited. But it’s okay. This is the moment where you have to accept the fact that yes, you are not in it and you may miss out the wonderful moment you really wanted to be part of. But it’s completely okay, you can find your happiness and contentment in your surroundings, that’s where the term JOMO, “Joy of missing out” comes in.

The term JOMO is coined by entrepreneur and blogger Anil Dash, who discovered the simple pleasure of being home with his loved ones. So instead of FOMO, why not feel JOMO?

Spend time with your family!

Spending time with your family or siblings is one of the best medicines to any disease, whether mental or physical. When you spend time with your family — especially face-to-face communication, as opposed to digital — it significantly reduces the extent of depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. Moreover, being physically present with loved ones creates a strong emotional support in carrying out several life’s challenges.

Stop yourself!

Lastly, my advice to my young friends is to stop going through others’ life, their profiles and their status. You are only making yourself miserable by wasting your time on focusing on other people’s lives.

Live your life by not copying others, but by creating your own. You have your own world, which is different from that of others, where you can have more fun with the people you are living with, and you will never fret over FOMO anymore!

Published in Dawn, Young World, October 8th, 2022