Advice: Perceptions
We have all heard the famous quote, “Never judge a book by its cover.” But how well have we executed this mantra in our practical life?
We blindly believe what we see in front of us, and don’t always think of probing it in depth. Occasionally, we impulsively pass judgments based on our perceptions, but we fail to introspect how we reached those conclusions.
Suppose you meet someone for the first time in your life, and after spending some time chatting with them, you feel that you don’t like certain traits in them and would not like to meet them in the future. That person might have held nothing but noble intentions towards you, and came off as blunt due to their straightforward nature. However, something in their personality triggered you to form a negative and instantaneous perception of them.
Perceptions that form in our mind the first time we meet people can stick in our head like glue and sometimes seem irrevocable. We tend to continuously build and feed the initial vague perceptions by over-thinking and seeking validation. As humans, we possess the power to turn those perceptions into lifelong opinions and beliefs, and this is the moment when everything goes downhill.
False perceptions might eventually lead us to miss out on plenty of opportunities of making irreplaceable connections with people and things. An example can further clarify this point: you walk into your classroom and when you converse with a classmate, you see them fidgeting with their fingers, and from this, you perceive that they are feeling bored in your company. Later, you complain about this with another friend to seek validation that your classmate was uninterested in the conversation because you are boring or they are churlish. Although there might be another reason behind their behaviour, you are forming this opinion based on what you perceive.
In my opinion, impression and perception are two different concepts and should not be mistaken to be the same. An impression is “an effect produced in the mind by a stimulus or sensation” or a “general opinion or feeling, without knowing much”.
On the other hand, perception is “the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted.” So perception is a way we analyse someone’s expressions and words, and try to decipher things to the best of our ability. Therefore, our perceptions differ in comparison to others, as the values and notions embedded in their mindset vary from ours. An elaborated example can help you understand my stance: one of your friends might love hanging out with the person you dislike, but it is not fair to hold this action of theirs against them. They saw this person in a different light than you and thus perceived them as a person of good nature. For instance, they might be able to understand each other’s jokes immediately and share the same interests.
Hence, we need to respect the ideas of others as they go through a different thought process to reach a perception, and this can be contrary to ours. But this is what ultimately makes life beautiful. Listening to other people’s views opens the windows of our minds. To make our life worth living, we should embark on a journey of tolerance toward others’ perspectives. Undoubtedly, we will gain a bundle of knowledge from them, and perhaps our perception of the issue at hand might change considerably.
For example, you complained to your friend a few days ago about how hectic your life has gotten due to back-to-back classes and that you desperately need a break to relax at home. That friend of yours then goes on to host a get-together, but does not invite you and you feel heartbroken. You are quick to blame her for being a careless or selfish friend. However, in her defence, she states that from what you told her, she believed that you don’t have time to meet up as you want to relax. Therefore, she decided not to bother you, whereas in your dictionary: the definition of relaxation might have meant going out and socialising with friends.
So, to sum it all up, we should take ample time to examine things carefully before passing a judgment, and should think positively. There are indeed endless possibilities for perceiving things in diverse manners if we view them with different lenses. As young individuals striving to become the best version of themselves possible, we should first learn to be open to receiving various opinions of others wholeheartedly. We should also be willing to modify our perception if new information regarding our area of interest unfolds.
Published in Dawn, Young World, October 15th, 2022