Story time: It’s okay to think differently
Hafsa always tried to make others happy. She would always agree with others and never give her own ideas for anything. She couldn’t say “No”, and that was her main problem.
One evening, Hafsa went to her friend Noor’s house as they were assigned to work on a project together. When they sat down to get started, Hafsa started explaining some ideas that she had for the project, but was cut off mid-sentence by Noor, who began describing what she thought was a much better idea. Hafsa tried to add something, but was stopped each time.
“Hafsa, don’t you think this picture would best describe this point?” Noor asked while typing.
“I guess you’re right, but you know I was thinking that we can also …” Hafsa tried to add in something, but Noor cut her off again.
“Yeah, see I told you it would look much better like this. It’s perfect!” Noor exclaimed.
In the end, Noor was the one who designed the main framework. Seeing this, Hafsa felt really annoyed, but she couldn’t say anything since she was the one who kept agreeing with Noor.
When she came home, Hafsa was really upset. Her father noticed her mood, so he asked what the matter was. She then explained the whole story to her father.
“Hmm… seems like our little daughter has forgotten that she also has a voice. Sometimes, it’s okay to say, “No”. It doesn’t have to signify opposition, but just shows that everyone thinks differently from the other,” her father explained to her in a soft tone.
“But baba, if we think differently then we can’t work as a team.” Hafsa reasoned.
“That is not true, when two people combine their ideas and efforts, then that work becomes more interesting since it carries a wider range of ideas. You cannot work on a project together if you can’t provide your own ideas as well. Sometimes you need to put across to others clearly what you want as well,” her father said.
That night, Hafsa kept thinking about what her father had said. She remembered that this was not the first time she remained quiet, she was always silenced by her friends and even class fellows. She realised that she needed to speak up for herself. Therefore, she decided to add her ideas to the project as well, because it was a team work, not an individual attempt.
The next day, she explained her idea to Noor in school. After she finished, Noor said, “Wow Hafsa, this is a great idea! Why didn’t you say something before?”
“Hmm ... firstly, because you kept cutting me off. And secondly, I was afraid that you would be upset if we didn’t use your ideas and the project will get into doldrums so I couldn’t say ‘No’ to you,” Hafsa told her innocently.
“I’m sorry for not listening to you, but it would have been okay if you had said all this before since this is a team work and we should use ideas that both of us have,” Noor said, a bit embarrassed.
“You’re right, I’ll try to be loud enough to be heard by everyone,” Hafsa said, while smiling cheerfully.
With that, both of them grabbed their notes and started combining them for the class project that they were working on.
Published in Dawn, Young World, November 19th, 2022