From a very young age, our parents teach us to do things on our own. The tasks are simple and easy at first, and as we get older, our duties to get bigger and harder.

Some kids love doing things on their own or when their parents tell them, but there are a lot of those who fret over and blow tantrums in doing the things they should be doing.

Have you ever considered why your parents give you duties or tell you to do this and that occasionally? Well, the reason is simple, they want you to start learning to be responsible and capable of doing things on your own.

Yes, to become capable adults, pre-teens and teenagers need to become responsible and take decisions on their own. This is an important part of your journey to young adulthood. But those of you who don’t do household chores or don’t want to take any responsibility, it’s time for them to start learning to play their role as a responsible child of the family and a member of society, because being independent makes you a confident individual in the future.

The more you become independent, the more you develop self-confidence and self-sufficiency, it is important to nurture independence and responsibility at an early age.

What is independence and why is it important?

Being independent doesn’t refer to being financially self-sufficient, which is of course very important, but not at your age. Independence also deals with emotional and psychological self-sufficiency, which is the ability to make decisions based on your own judgment. It is the ability to be self-aware, self-regulated, and own one’s feelings, actions and outcomes.

Moreover, it involves you to do things on your own, without needing to be told or asked. Keep in mind that we are talking about day to day small activities that you should be doing on your own.

Mind your limits!

Making choices of your own is a great way to learn independence and feel empowered, as these build confidence, develop decision-making skills, etc. But you must remember that there are certain boundaries to freedom, and there you must look towards a green signal from your parents. At your age, your parents are the ones you should look to for permission, especially when taking any serious decisions.

Take responsibility

One of the best ways to be an independent child is to feel that you are responsible for doing some tasks at your home. For instance, ask mum or dad to give you a daily chore that you should be doing, at a certain time of the day.

For instance, you can take the responsibility of throwing the garbage every day, without waiting for your parents to ask you to do it; you can water plants at a certain time of the day; you can fold your clothes and arrange your closet, sort your stuff from around the house and keep your room clean and always make your bed after you wake up. Or if you have a very young sibling, do it for him/her and take all these chores as your responsibilities and don’t wait for your parents to tell you to do them every day.

This way, you are contributing to the home and family. By performing these small duties, you will feel that you are being helpful to the whole household. Remember the more responsibilities you perform, the more you will feel capable and feel confident about your abilities.

Learn problem-solving skills

Problem-solving skills are crucial to your mental health and overall growth. As you grow old, you need to think about day to day tasks, glitches and problems that come in your way. They could be very simple, or could be really difficult to deal with. Some may be family-related, and some may be studies or school-related. You must have good judgment and confidence, so that you can solve these petty issues on your own.

Let’s suppose, if you hear your sister or brother cry, think or ask what the reason is and analysis if can you handle the situation on your own. If yes, should you comfort them or distract them? If you solve their problem and your sibling gets comforted, it is a sign that you are learning to solve issues, without needing to ask for help from others.

More so, problems could also arise in your personal life. For instance, if you see a sudden change in your friend’s behaviour, just think about the possible reasons and try to solve them. By thinking about solving the problems on your own, you are actually becoming self-aware and learning to control your emotions and the situations you are in.

Don’t make failures a big issue!

There will be times when you might fail at something, and obviously, you will be disappointed. Comfort yourself by thinking it’s okay to fail. Learn from failures, get up and try again. You might even repeat them, but even then, it’s okay, you will eventually learn from your mistakes and experiences.

Learn to compromise

Some children don’t think about the middle way, they view everyday circumstances as a win or lose situation, and therefore create no balance. Remember, in our day to day life, we often have to compromise and accept things just as they are.

For instance, there is a gathering at your home, and you and your sibling are assigned to do some chores. You are assigned to put the plates on the table while your sibling are assigned to serve the guests. You might have your own reservations about the tasks assigned to both of you, but once assigned, you must do it regardless of what you wanted and how you wanted to do it.

Get out of your comfort zone

Oftentimes, our comfort zone hin­ders our way towards achieving success, our way towards self-awareness, self-sufficiency and confidence.

In my opinion, a comfort zone is more like fear, so break the chains of fear to get out. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy your life more than before. So try new things, challenge yourself for something you haven’t done before, such as a new sport, a hobby or any activity that you think is a challenge. This way, you will be more confident than ever.

So kids, the abilities to be independent and be responsible are something that every person must learn at some point in their life.

Therefore, regardless of your age, take responsibilities and develop a sense of independence and confidence in your capability to solve problems and take decisions on your own. Believe me, you will become a very self-sufficient and confident person in no time.

Published in Dawn, Young World, December 10th, 2022