“Out of the way, shortie!” someone yelled behind Sania.

She turned around, only to see a group of older girls smirking and snickering, pointing fingers at her. Her eyes welled with tears and she quickly left the corridor, head bowed low in shame. She had always been on the shorter side and in Grade 6, after reaching 4 feet 10 inches, her height had stopped growing. She was painfully reminded of this through such mocking remarks passed on a regular basis.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t tried to do something about it. She had taken supplements, hung from monkey bars and stretched for hours, but nothing had worked. It left her with extreme self-pity — why, oh, why couldn’t she have grown a couple more inches?

“Eww, is that human hair or a bird’s nest?”

The malicious voice echoed in the playground. It was recess and Lina was sitting with her friend, talking and eating her lunch, when suddenly Neha appeared to her right and stood towering over her. Lina had naturally curly hair. And even though her mum always said her hair was beautiful, all her life she had been told by her schoolmates how it looked like an ugly bomb of frizz. Once someone had even likened it to the bristles of a broomstick.

Lina closed her eyes and swallowed the salty ball of tears that rose at the back of her throat. She couldn’t wait to grow up and get her hair fixed.

“Oh my goodness, can someone please take our little rabbit to a dentist?”

The menacing laughter exploded from the back bench. Maha glanced sideways at her friend, who just shook her head and patted her hand reassuringly.

Maha hated her teeth. They had always been a cause of misery to her. Everyone thought they jutted out of her mouth too much. They didn’t let any opportunity pass to make fun of her. She desperately wanted to get braces, but her mum had told her to wait until next year as she was saving money for this expensive treatment. She wished she could disappear from earth till then. Covering her eyes, she let the tears flow.

Do these scenarios sound familiar? Of course they do. You must know at least one person in your class who gets bullied over something or the other. Maybe you have also been a victim of bullying. Or it could be you bullying some poor soul around you.

Bullying is a form of aggressive behaviour that tries to establish an imbalance of power between two parties. It is honestly one of the worst things a person can do to another, as it destroys the victim’s self-esteem and self-worth.

Bullying hurts people. It makes the victim lose all his/her confidence and can lead to feelings of anger, hurt, depression and anxiety. The victim starts believing the bully, perceiving the bully’s distorted version about themselves to be true. They become trapped in these negative thoughts and it becomes a struggle for them to get on with routine tasks, such as, studying, carrying out meaningful social interactions or playing a sport.

So what should one do if they find themselves facing a bully? Let us discuss some ways in which we can take control and prevent bullying.

Tell yourself you deserve respect

Respect is every person’s fundamental right. We should all respect each other, regardless of our social background, caste, religion or race. No one deserves to be bullied. If you have ever gotten bullied, please know that none of it was your fault. Not in the slightest. No one can make fun of you.

Height, complexion, hair, teeth — our features are all blessings granted to us by God; no one has the right to tell you that the blessing you have is faulty. God made us all in different shapes, sizes, colours and personality traits. From our fingertips down to our DNA, each one of us is remarkably unique in our own way. We are all beautiful and equal, because we are all God’s creation. Our differences are what makes each of us unique.

Take power away from the bully

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean you engage directly with the person bullying you. In fact, sometimes confrontations can make matters worse and may even lead to physical violence.

It is better to change your attitude. Turn a deaf ear to your bully. Rather than acting embarrassed, learn to hold your head high and ignore their mean comments. Eyes can convey strong emotions. You can communicate your disregard for their remarks through strong eye contact.

Or you can pretend as if they don’t exist and simply faze them out. You will see for yourself how much this will bother the bully, as you are taking the power to trouble you away from them. Their words will no longer affect you — they are merely words ricocheting off the walls and revealing the nasty nature of the bully. You’re the one who’s giving validation to the bully by attaching meaning to their words. When you stop giving value to those words and show no physical sign of distress, you’re taking back power from the bully.

Love yourself

Learn to love yourself. Don’t let another person make you feel inferior or inadequate, because you’re perfect just the way you are, particularly when it comes to physical characteristics beyond your control.

Practice self-love by being kind to yourself. Love your body and spirit, they’re your greatest assets. Accept yourself, embrace your feelings and stop judging yourself. For instance, you scored low on a math quiz. Rather than telling yourself that you will never succeed at math, tell yourself it’s okay, it was just another learning opportunity, and you can work harder next time.

Increase your emotional intelligence

It is often the hardest thing to look within and put a finger on your true feelings. We deny and repress our emotions, mostly to avoid feeling sad or anxious. Acknowledging your emotions can make you feel helpless initially, but it is the first step towards healing.

Embrace the hurt, listen to your inner voice. You can practice mindfulness meditation or take up any creative activity, such as painting or journaling. Rather than numbing your feelings, these activities will bring them to the surface, and hence, you can go about dealing with them in a healthy way.

Speak up

The best solution is to confide in a trustworthy adult, such as a parent or a guardian, and express yourself. Talk to your parents and let everything out. Your parents/guardian will always have your back.

You can also report bullying and harassment to the relevant authorities. Just walk inside your principal’s office and tell your side of the story. Let the principal know what’s going on, and don’t hesitate to name your bully. I guarantee you, there’s no shame or fear in reporting someone who bullies you or other people. Every action has a consequence, and bullying must be severely punished.

To conclude, you do you, there’s just one of you in the whole wide world — pretty amazing, right? So learn to love and value yourself. All the best!

Published in Dawn, Young World, March 4th, 2023