When you’re young, you don’t realise the value of the time you have with your loved ones. Let’s be honest, we don’t think long-term as children. We assume that the people we see every day in our homes will always be there, as if time will stand still and life won’t change. But as you grow older, you begin to understand that time moves forward for everyone, and the people around you age just as you do.

Each relationship in your life has its own unique dynamic. With your parents, there’s love but also a bit of fear and respect. With your siblings, they’re your friends-cum-enemies depending on the mood. Aunts and uncles bring comfort and affection, but there’s one relationship that stands apart from all the rest —your grandparents. They’re the ones you take refuge in when mum scolds you, the ones who listen to your stories hundreds of times as if listening to it for the first time, pamper you and shower you with unconditional love. It’s a bond like no other, filled with warmth and understanding that only comes from the wisdom of years.

The four grandparents are the foundation of your house. The foundation of your parent’s personalities and building the personalities you have.

Enjoy their company while you have them

While there are many kids who don’t feel it is fun going to their grandparents’ place, or sitting with them for a while, for they find them extra picky at times. I’m here to make a point that if you are still fortunate enough to have all of your grandparents or even just one left in your life, value the time you have with them while they are still here.

You don’t want to look back and think, ‘I should have gone and visited them more,’ or ‘I wished I listened to their stories more; or asked them about their parents, my great grandparents’. Believe me kids, the regret of not knowing your elders while they are still there never leaves you at peace. Take advantage of that time now, because it won’t last forever.

I was never fortunate enough to have grandparents in my life, so whenever I visited my relatives, I observed the relationship between grandchildren and grandparents. I noticed what set that relationship apart from other relations that I knew of. Having no grandparents made me realise many things — chief among them being that the kids with grandparents do not realise how lucky they are! It is because we rarely recognise the true importance of someone in our lives while they’re still with us. It’s only when we lose them that we understand how much we’ve truly lost.

So, if you are missing out on spending quality time with your grandparents, do it while they are there. May they stay there in your lives always, but everyone has to leave. So, accepting the reality, let’s make their days worthwhile.

They are a legacy, a heritage

Many of you often underestimate the lives of your parents, thinking they are outdated millennial who know nothing about today’s world and because their trends and choices don’t match yours. So, being careless and indifferent towards them becomes a norm. And when it comes to grandparents, some of you might perceive them as ‘cave people’ who have no idea about the world around you. But trust me, their eyes reflect a lifetime of experience.

They carry the knowledge passed down from their parents, your great-grandparents. Do you think they wasted their lives? No. They might not know how to use the gadgets that your whole life depends upon, but they have more wisdom about the world and how to handle daily life without modern technology.

Grandparents serve as keepers of cultural heritage. Through traditions, customs and shared stories, they play a vital role in preserving and passing down cultural richness to younger generations, ensuring that heritage remains alive and vibrant.

Hidden wisdom in superstitions

We don’t believe in superstitions, of course, but I realise there is a hidden wisdom in them sometimes that our grandparents often remind us of. They often develop superstitious beliefs as a way to teach a lesson and can actually help us develop good habits. They often tell you things that may not be true, but make you believe them because that’s where their wisdom lies.

For example, my parents told me that their parents (my grandparents) warned them that those who drink soft drinks, they develop stomach worms or get severe stomach aches. And if the children later complained of discomfort, it would seem to confirm what the grandparents had said. Another interesting thing I’ve heard is their insistence that you should never step on or throw books. If you did, the books would disappear one by one from your life, and you’d be considered foolish, they warned.

Interesting, isn’t it? That’s the fun element deeply-rooted in their wisdom.

Seasons and grand wisdom

With every season, our elders bring with them their time-tested wisdom into our lives, especially when it comes to food. In summer, they are always telling you dozens of ways to cool down. Come the monsoon, their wisdom pours on you with rain-essential tips to take care of your health. In the winter months, again they seem to have a remedy for everything, whether it’s suggesting a hot cup of black tea or qehwa to sooth a sore throat, or bringing out their homemade cures if you’re already coughing. Their advice, rooted in tradition, has been passed down through generations.

But their wisdom extends far beyond just seasonal foods. You’ve probably seen your parents, too, reaching out to them for guidance, whether it’s a quick phone call or a hurried conversation, asking about the proper way to carry out a particular ritual. And if your grandparents live with you, there’s always that last-minute rush to ask them how to ‘do it right.’

It’s not just rituals, though, it’s the practical knowledge of day-to-day life. Take cooking, for instance. You’ve likely seen your mother asking your grandmother how much of each ingredient is needed to prepare shami kabab, pulao or biryani for a large gathering. It’s in these moments that your grandmother’s wisdom truly shines, knowing the perfect proportions of ingredients to create a flawless dish every time. And that’s the beauty of their knowledge, it doesn’t come from books or the internet, but from years of living, learning and perfecting.

Ailing grandparents

It’s a natural human process: with age comes sickness. Our bodies become more prone to diseases as we grow frailer because we no longer have a strong immune system, making us more likely to catch viruses and suffer from both seasonal and chronic illnesses. These are the times when every human needs another human’s care and support.

Remember how irritated and lonely you felt when you had a fever? Even with your family constantly pampering you, the desire for everyone to be around never went away, and you still wanted to be spoon-fed and taken care of even more. Now, imagine if you have a sick grandparent, how much attention and care would they need?

Ask yourself, if you were sick, wouldn’t they go out of their way to care for you? Of course, for grandparents, their grandchildren are dearest because they see their own children growing up all over again and this time round they are less burdened with responsibilities, so they shower their love freely.

Final word

Our grandparents have already spent a lifetime raising and nurturing our parents; now it’s their time to experience the joy of watching their children’s children thrive. To show them love and appreciation, it’s important to make an effort to include them in our lives, even in simple, yet meaningful, ways, like playing board games, joining them on a walk, or gifting them a keepsake. Making a handmade craft or card, reading a book together or sharing a meal can create lasting memories.

It might seem tough to set aside your phone, stop playing video games or take a break from social media for even an hour to spend time with the elderly blessings in your home. Trust me, that small amount of time will offer you insights you never had before, and you’ll cherish those memories in the years to come.

Published in Dawn, Young World, October 12th, 2024