For long, there has been much emphasis on speaking appropriately and fittingly. Many of us would have heard our elders say: “Speak as if flowers are springing from your mouth”. This is because a person’s choice of words and the tone of his speech influence his personality.

And this is also because many of the issues in our day-to-day lives are not because of some error on our part, but because of a lack of proper communication that leads to misunderstanding.

In the rapidly changing dynamics of the globe, the need to possess sound soft skills has been rising even more. Speech is the foremost in the list of those soft skills. So, this means that a well-versed individual has a higher chance to excel in various fields as compared to his counterpart who is as qualified as he is, but lacks the soft skills of the former individual.

Also, in this context, it is necessary to emphasise that communicating effectively is not something that can be learnt in a matter of days. You cannot expect to impress people by the way you speak at an event, or in a ceremony when you have not had the least bit of prior practice. Rather, it requires practice to be able to do so. In the following paragraphs, talking effectively to some people as a drill for effective communication is mentioned.

Communication with elders

Speaking to elders should include the elements of respect and politeness. It should be different from the way one speaks to a friends and people of the same fellows. Many children are really frank with their elders and this is nothing to be discouraged. However, there is a thin demarcation line between frankness and disrespect. During communication, it is really important to be mindful of this boundary.

The need for choosing the words carefully and speaking them in the right manner is even more important when one is speaking to elders such as parents.

In many instances, the opinions of parents and children are different. Similarly, at times, parents might not allow their children to do something, or to go somewhere. In such a situation, it is really important not to get angry, to remain polite and to understand that parents are well-wishers of their children.

With politeness and effective communication, you might even be able to convince your parents to allow you something that they had previously disapproved of.

Communication with younger ones

In our day-to-day activities, many of us fail to consider the fact that those our junior, in any sense, also deserve respect and that their self-respect should not be let down by mocking them or hurting them with your rude behaviour. So you mustn’t make fun of or scold your younger siblings or friends, especially in front of other person.

Secondly, it is not alright to consider younger siblings as your equals in terms of maturity. Give them some room to make mistakes, and politely tell them how to rectify those mistakes instead of scolding them. Proper communication with them is also important; it should not just be limited to elders and colleagues.

Communication with friends and foes

Friendship is a structure that is entirely based upon communication; effective communication makes friends and strengthens the bond of friendship. Also, at times, friendship is broken for no reason other than a lack of proper communication. These observations should be self-explanatory in emphasising the importance of speaking properly to maintain and strengthen friendships.

In my opinion, more emphasis should be laid on your communication with people who are not on good terms with you. Firstly, there mustn’t be a fight. If you do not want to befriend a person due to something you don’t like about the way he talks or acts, maintain some distance instead of confronting that person. Preferably, that person shouldn’t get to know that you are avoiding him. In public, you should greet that person like you greet others, only avoid being frank with him.

More importantly, in childhood, many friendships are broken and formed. Someone who is the ‘best buddy’ one day ceases to be a friend the next day. Similarly, some people who you do not consider your friend might become your most trusted companion at a later stage.

Keep this in mind so that you don’t talk or behave with someone in a way that you would regret, in case things were to turn around. Remember that your rude behaviour might never be forgotten by that person.

Communication with domestic helpers

Now we come to the most neglected aspect of communication: talking properly with the domestic helpers. Unfortunately, it has become common in our society to have a condescending attitude toward drivers, gardeners and other domestic helpers. While it is true that they do not have the social standing that you have, they are certainly humans and all humans have the right to be respected.

Call your drivers or watchmen with respect, instead of calling them by their names or calling them rudely. They are your elders and deserve your respect. Talk to them politely, and not in an arrogant way. Take care of their needs.

In a nutshell, in all the interactions that you have with them, always remember that they have self-respect, they can get tired and they are liable to make mistakes just like you are.

This approach will help in the long run. When you enter the professional field, you will have subordinates. There will be sweepers and tea boys in the offices. Your attitude with them will reflect how you behave with your domestic helpers today and will have a role in the opinion your colleagues form about you. So, it is better to be prepared in time for that phase of life.

So remember, communication is an oft-neglected aspect of our daily lives, but it is an integral part of our personalities. Therefore, we should focus our attention on this aspect as well, and strive to speak in a way that is pleasant and polite.

Published in Dawn, Young World, November 2nd, 2024