Snuggled away in a posh area of the throbbing metropolis called Karachi is a beautiful house that belongs to Asad Ali. Big cars, an army of servants and noisy children playing in the garden. But a visit to this house and you realise this household is anything but ordinary; you will be greeted by not one, not two but three ladies of the house. The house has a total of eleven children from different mothers but the same father. All three wives have exactly the same décor for their rooms except the colour of the curtains. If one of the children gets a pet cockatoo, well, so do all others who are in the same age bracket. Neighbours vouch for the fact that they have never heard any squabbling. The wives seem happy and content, sharing control, respectable social status and the man in their lives. All three women are beautiful, healthy and bore children. This is amicable polygamy in practice.

Existing since time immemorial, according to Wikipedia, “Polygamy can be defined as any "form of marriage in which a person has more than one spouse at the same time.” Shariah allows a man to have upto four wives though it is not mandatory), so does Pakistani law, but Shariah levies the condition that justice is maintained between the wives.

Men who choose to have more than one wife are supposed to deal with their wives as fairly as possible, making sure that they spend equal amounts of time and money on each one of them. The social, physical and emotional rights of each of the wives must be fulfilled. If the husband cannot deal with his wives fairly, he should not have more than one wife. However, the man need not provide equal time, devotion, emotional and physical support to all his wives.

The Muslim Family Laws Ordinance [Ordinance no. VIII of1961], states about Polygamy that, “No man, during the subsistence of an existing marriage, shall except with the previous permission in writing of the Arbitration Council, contract another marriage, nor shall any such marriage contracted without such permission be registered under this Ordinance.” [6(1)]

When asked whether a man is required by Pakistani law to take permission from his first wife for his second marriage, Advocate Summaiya Zaidi says, “Islamic Jurisprudence is a rich and evolving area of religious studies, which is why opinions differ. While one school may adhere to the fact that a man before marrying another woman needs the consent of his first wife, other religious scholars may believe that this consent is not necessary.” However Zaidi believes that the first wife's opinion certainly matters as she and her children would be most affected by the advent of a new family member.

Neverthless, polygamy is considered a social taboo even in our society. Kashif Ansari, a finance executive, feels that, “Solutions to a lot of social problems like infidelity, birth of children out of wedlock, and exploitation of women lie in acceptance of polygamy. Being a social taboo, somehow a woman would rather allow her husband to have an affair, than to have the 'other woman' (and/or her children) share the social respect and financial benefits that come with the husband's name tag.”

In a country like Pakistan, where it becomes difficult to make both ends meet with even one wife, only the well off can afford to feed two or more households. Dr. Tarannum Ahmed, a resident of Saudi Arabia, observes that, “The incidences of more than one marriage have reduced in Saudi Arabia. First wives generally make the husband spend so much, and have so many kids, that he doesn't even want to think about having a second one! But if they do marry more than once, Arab women know their rights and culturally all wives enjoy the same rights.” Ahmed believes, “A man can rarely do justice to several wives; it is mostly a mess.”

Justice Nasira Iqbal says, “When a lot of women lost their husbands in battles, providing homes to widows and orphans was the prime purpose for polygamy. Today for example, if the first wife cannot have children or has an illness, the man can remarry. But only if he can maintain absolute equality between them, which is next to impossible.” Law of the land clearly states that he needs permission of the arbitration council for a second marriage, which also involves a representative each from the couple's families.

Polygamy is one of those religious permissions that are generally considered patriarchal, and so in favour of men. However, many feel that it may actually protect the rights of the second wife who otherwise may not enjoy social benefits and inheritance rights if the relationship remains just an affair with the man not marrying her. MPA Ms. Hayat said, “If there is no bar on them marrying again, extra-marital activity could be controlled, while women would be able to salvage their honour and lead secure lives in our society which is biased towards single women.”

Sadaf Farooqi, a writer feels that polygamy is the answer to social ills, not the least of which is extra-marital relations. “Women always outnumber men in society and have longer life spans. Every woman should have a chance at marriage and motherhood, if she wishes; however, this may not be possible with only monogamy.”