It is rather strange how much more quickly I can adapt to grieving as a lifestyle than joy. I am, however, dreading my incapacity to detach one from the other when the need for a singular, absolute sensation is ever required. The challenge with indifference, something I consider worse than death, is allowing the happiness or sadness to take over, to the point of it becoming everything your world revolves around – that one good or bad thing that makes you giddy. Literally. Falling in love. Realising your dreams. Coming to terms with a colleague’s death. A hundred and twenty-seven deaths in an instant. The nonsensical loss of hundreds of innocent lives in the very city you live in.
While I struggle to keep a balance between these two extremes, I often find myself rather alone. Perhaps people are just better receptors of pain or joy than me. Unflinchingly, in the face of death and despair, onward they march. It would have never come down to me writing about this until I met living, breathing examples of people who just do not care. Who does that? And how?
Breaking some confidences, I discovered that it was so because 'it didn't happen to me,' ‘nobody I love was on the plane that crashed,’ ‘I have never been a victim of Karachi violence,’ ‘these protests are a waste of energy,’ ‘I didn't even know the person gunned down.’
I will go out on a limb here and even attribute this to a coping mechanism, still, how are you not devastated ‘enough’ when a calamity hits? How does sectarian violence not gut you to the core? How does a plane crash not strike you down where you stand? Many justify this by the frequency of violence and death in this country: "It happens everyday, we are immune to it." … How can you become immune to the stench of death? Even if it be God's will, how does accepting it make it any less testing? How is turning bitter or numb always such an inevitability? Even more will argue that showing compassion has nothing to do with any of this. What change are good wishes, condolences and positivity going to bring?
The difference between life and death sometimes is just that of empathy. By suffering the angst of a nation getting clawed, gutted and torn, we are not bearing anyone else’s grief any more than our own.
As much as I hate saying it, if it didn't happen to you, there's no saying it never will. And when it does, would you rather a nation, heads down and quick steps, walk right past you, oblivious to your suffering? And not because they can not, but simply because they do not want to. Are you feeling the inhumanity yet?
The media loses empathy in getting the ‘story’ first, a nation loses empathy in trying to blame the government, the government loses empathy in looking for that 'outside hand', the 'outside hand' probably loses empathy because its got its own people to fake empathising to. So on and so forth, thrives this unfortunate cycle of apathy.
There will be many to join in the celebrations of our personal successes, which makes it more of a shame that we choose not to be conscientious towards national tragedies. It may not be happening to YOU, it still does not absolve you from the responsibility of standing shoulder to shoulder with your countrymen. In fact, it is a time to especially not be thinking about yourself.
No revolution ever happened with more than half of the population sitting at home flicking through channels ignoring rising death tolls, tweeting about tailor shops being closed due to strikes, shrugging shoulders at everyone’s most favorite rhetorical question 'what's happening to this country?' and tsk-tsking in sync to the wails of despondency around them.
Worse than a nation dying from bombs, guns, drones and crashes is one that dies from indifference.
Don't let the disappointment, defeat, corruption, greed infest you into living just because. That is a waste of a good life, a life that hasn't been struck down by a plane crash or a bomb. Don't predetermine that your duty as a Pakistani will ever be in vain.
Our defeat lies not in some invasion, nor in the injustices of our system, if we are ever defeated, it will be because we cared too little.
Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is. --Rollo May
The writer is the Blogs Editor at Dawn.com
