Oh, how the last few days of World Cup action have sent pulses racing! As if Landon Donovan’s last minute heroics to help the Yanks go through to the knock out stages wasn’t enough the Italians managed to join their fellow 2006 world cup finalists France on the plane home following the ignominy of finishing last in their group.

This is indeed the first time both finalists from the previous world cup have bowed out in the first round. As a neutral, one wonders what Marcelo Lippi was thinking when he decided to take the reigns of the Azzuri after having already guided them to an improbable fourth World Cup triumph (with help from Zidane’s head butt). Having reached the pinnacle of the sport, Lippi was now forced to suffer the greatest of embarrassments. Where that leaves his legacy with his countrymen, only time will tell. One thing is for sure, he has done his stock no favours.

While the Italians bowed out following a thrilling encounter, the French were miserable in their defeat to the hosts South Africa. Most thought the French side got what they deserved following their handball-assisted progress at the expense of the Irish in a playoff. Pizza Hut Dublin was offering 350 free pizzas for each goal scored on the French and boy did the Irish party at the sight of a disillusioned French side led by a clueless manager. Surely, the Irish would have put on a better display at the finals than the shambolic French team. For his part, French President Nicolas Sarkozy has ordered an inquest and this story still has plenty of life left following captain Patrice Evra’s promise to reveal all in the ensuing days. 

Over in the Afghan trenches, General McChrystal was so inspired by Nicolas Anelka and John Terry’s respective outbursts that he decided to try his luck with some harsh criticism of Obama. Unfortunately for him he merely succeeded in achieving Anelka’s fate.

This tournament has been noted both for the annoying noise at stadia, as well as for unbelievably poor refereeing. The amount of unwarranted red cards is appalling. BP however seems to have shown many goalkeepers a way to overshadow even the most inept officiating. An inspired Robert Green got things underway with a spill even BP would’ve been proud of and ‘keeping howlers have riddled the tournament ever since. Despite Green’s success in starting a tradition, his efforts have not been appreciated by England coach Fabio Capello who demoted him to a bench-warming role that he is slightly better at than catching balls.

Ahead of their crunch knock out tie with England, Germany legend Franz Beckenbauer has stoked flames by making digs at the English camp by claiming their players are burnt out having earlier belittled England’s ‘kick and run’ tactics ()http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/jun/15/world-cup-franz-beckenbauer-england. To be fair to Beckenbauer, he isn’t far wrong. England do play a rather functional style that isn’t exactly easy on the eyes for that matter his own Germans are lucky Michael Ballack got injured before the start of the tournament, else that boy Mesut Ozil may not have even got a look in. That is the major difference between England and Germany – the Germans have an Ozil and England don’t. 

Finally, you will be glad to know that its not just Pakistanis that indulge in their fair share of hilarious conspiracy theories. A right wing Italian politician has already blamed immigrants for Italy’s demise, probably making Mauro Camoranesi wonder why he didn’t opt to play for Argentina instead! Spain however, did one better following their opening fixture defeat at the hands of the Swiss. At the time the Spanish media pulled out their knives towards Sara Carbonero, on-field reporter and Spanish captain Iker Casillas’ partner. Spanish dailies claim the sultry journalist’s presence – voted hottest journalist in the world- at pitch side distracts Casillas from performing to his potential.

Any blog on South Africa would be remiss without a mention of its native Vuvuzela that one is starting to get used to- not the spittle, merely the sound (err, noise). Therefore our thoughts go out to the passionate young woman whose windpipe broke while trying to tear someone’s eardrum with one wild blow.

Talha Zaheer writes about professional football for goal.com. He has covered the 2009-10 MLS season and was lucky enough to cover Real Madrid on their North American tour of 2009. Zaheer likes to deliver fresh milk in his spare time.